Ovi Watch: 30×18

The Capitals Captain, Alexander Ovechkin, scored his 30th goal of the 23-24 season as the game winner against the Detroit Red Wings. It was his 21st goal in the last 31 games, which works out to a remarkable .677 pace for the back-half of the season.

The Capitals posted a video by former Capitals sniper Mike Gartner congratulating Ovechkin on breaking the tie for the record: “I just wanted to congratulate you on 18 30-plus goal seasons,” Gartner said. “I know we shared the record for a very brief time, and I’m pretty appreciative of that, but now you have it all by yourself. There are many records that you have in the National Hockey League and there’s one big one that you’re still going to get. Good luck. All the best.”

I grew up rooting for Gartner, and his incarnation of the Caps, so to witness Ovi breaking another of Gartner’s records was pretty exciting, especially when it seemed that the task might be out of reach not that long ago.

Gartner accomplished his 17 30-goal seasons over a 19-season career spanning 1432 games. The first missed 30-goal season of his career didn’t occur until his 16th season, aged 35, coinciding with the lockout-shortened fiasco of a 1994-95 where he managed 12 in 38 for a .316 pace which would have worked out to (just) shy of a 30 goal season under a normal 82 games. Gartner’s second came to close out his career with 60 games in Phoenix at age 38. In the end, Gartner tallied 708 goals making him one of only five players at the time to eclipse the 700 goal plateau.

Ovi’s only miss, so far, came, like Gartner’s, in a shortened season where his 24 in 45 during the pandemic shortened 20-21 season worked out to a .533 pace which would be 43.7 on an 82 goal season and not far off his career pace at that point.

Similar to Ovi’s recent 20×19 milestone, 30×18 feat is something to step back and appreciate the true grandeur of, not only because it breaks the tie with Gartner for sole possession of the most NHL regular seasons scoring 30 or more goals, but because of how rare multiple 30 goal seasons really are.

While 30-goal scoring would seem like a given for what goal scoring players might be expected to score in any given season, consider the following:

3 Players have 15 or more 30 goal seasons all time: Ovechkin, Gartner and Jagr. Of those 3 players, only Ovi reached double digits for 40 goal seasons as well.

30 x 15 would be a 450 goal career, only 67 players have reached 450 career goals

28 players all time have 10 or more 30 goal NHL regular seasons.

Of those 28 players:

8 played for 20 or more seasons

20 played for 18 or more seasons

27 played for 15 or more seasons, with only Bossy having played fewer than 15 to reach 30 x 10

26 have 50% of their career as 30 goal seasons

19 have 60% of their career as 30 goal seasons

8 have 70% of their career as 30 goal seasons including Gretzky, Sundin, Espi and Dionne

4 have 80% of their career as 30 goal seasons and those players are:

Bobby Hull 13 of 16 for 81.25% of seasons were 30 goals or more

Gartner 17 of 19 for 89.47%

Ovi 18 of 19 for 94.73%

Bossy 10 of 10 for 100%

2 Current Players have reached this milestone, with Crosby’s 12 being the only other to join Ovi with at least 10

30 x 10 would be a 300 goal career, only 226 players have reached 300 career goals

159 players have 5 or more 30 goal NHL regular seasons

24 are currently considered active, so 75.5% of the population’s feats are static

12 of the 24 current players have already played 15 or more seasons

4 of those 12 players with15 or more seasons have done it at least 50% of the time, so far: Ovechkin, Crosby, Stamkos, and Pacoriety

14 of the 24 current players have done so for at least 50% of their career so far

9 of those 15 players with at least 50% of their careers are 30 goal seasons have played for at least 10 seasons: Oveckin, Pastrnak, Kutcherov, Crosby, Aho, Draisaitl, Stamkos, Rantanem, McKinnon, Pacoriety and Tarasenko

4 of the 24 players have reached the 75% mark: Kyle Conner, McDavid, Ovechkin and Matthews.

So far, only Matthews 8 of 8 is 100%, while only Ovechkin has maintained that level for greater than a decade

30 x 5 would be 150 career goals, 816 players so far have reached 150 career goals of the close to 1,500 to have broken triple digits.

411 Players all time have at least 2 seasons of 30 goal NHL regular seasons

161 Players all time have a .365 or greater average for their careers (so far for the close to 50 players who are considered active) when considering .36585 goals per game average over an 82 game regular season is a 30 goal season

There are only 6 players in history who have achieved at least 18 seasons of at least 20 goals, Howe, Francisis, Shanahan, Andreychuk, Jagr and Ovi, but only Ovi also has at least 18 seasons of 30 goals as well.

In any given season since the 2005 lockout / Ovi’s rookie year only about 30 players per season scored at least 30 goals, although that has risen since the pandemic to eclipse 50:

2023-24, so far, 39 Players have reached 30 goals this season (43 have 29, 48 have 28 putting them on the cusp to reach the plateau)

2022-23 54 players reached 30 goals of the XXX that reached at least 10 goals

2021-22 51 players reached 30 of 312 that reached at least 10

2020-21 pandemic shortened 5 players reached 30 of the 193 that reached at least 10

2019-20 pandemic shortened 17 players reached 30 of the 247 that reached at least 10

2018-19 45 with 30 of the 293 with at least 10

2017-18 32 with 30 of the 301 with at least 10

2016-17 26 with 30 of the 275 with at least 10

2015-16 28 with 30 of the 258 with at least 10

2014-15 15 with 30 of the 267 with at least 10

2013-14 21 with 30 of the 258 with at least 10

2012-13 lockout shortened 1 player (Ovi) reached 30 of the 138 that reached at least 10

2011-12 30 with 30 of the 246 with at least 10

2010-11 29 with 30 of the 273 with at least 10

2009-10 24 with 30 of the 278 with at least 10

2008-09 39 with 30 of the 271 with at least 10

2007-08 28 with 30 of the 264 with at least 10

2006-07 42 with 30 of the 288 with at least 10

2005-06 47 with 30 of the 292 with at least 10

Alternatively, if we are only considering the first 30 goals for Ovi’s 18 30 goal seasons he would have 540 goals on his career, which would place 35 all time displacing Keith Tkachuk and right behind Stan Mitka and Richard Rocket

If we are only considering the goals in excess of 30 for Ovi’s 18 30 goal seasons that’s works out to 288 goals so far, which would result in a tie for 244th all time with Pat Mahovlich and Larry Murphy, and just shy of the current career output of Tarasenko, Zibanejad, Eberle and others.

The 30th goal on the season helped Ovi to continue to close in on some additional milestones, including:

129 Game Winning Goals, 2nd behind Jagr with 135. 5th on the season, tied for 42nd this year.

535 Even Strength Goals, 4th behind Jagr with 538. 17th on the season, tied for 81st on the season

1548 Points, 13th behind Borque with 1579. 63rd on the season, tied 66th for the season

961 Even Strength Points, T14 with Sakic and behind Trottier with 963.

Ultimately, one doesn’t achieve these kind of stats without a combination of elite talent combined career longevity which is a unique combination in a sport known for its intense physicality. Becoming the first player to reach the 900 goal milestone is now 48 goals away, so let’s be sure to continue to savor each and every one of them.

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Ovi Watch: 20×19

Last night, with the win over the Calgary Flames, the Washington Capitals Captain continued to recraft the record books and continued to cement his own goal scoring legacy.

While the big number of note is 843, placing him a mere 51 goals behind Gretzky to tie for first all time, the two power play goals themselves represent more than just reaching that singular milestone.

The second power play goal made Ovechkin the six player in history to score at least 20 regular season NHL goals across at least 19 seasons, and the third to reach 20 goals over 19 consecutive seasons, as well as helping close the gap on first place for career NHL regular season game winning goals, and a number of other milestones of note.

Here’s the detail of how all those other milestones progress happened tonight.

1st All Time NHL Regular Season Power Play Goals with 309. +35 over #2 Dave Andreychuk

1st All Time NHL Regular Season Road Goals with 428. +26 over #2 Gretzky

1st All Time NHL Regular Season Road Power Play Goals with 155. +31 over #2 B. Hull.

1st All time NHL Regular Season Road shots on Goal with 3,330. +747 over #2 Jagr.

1st All Time NHL Regular Season Shots on Goal with 6,580. +371 over #2 Borque.

2nd All Time NHL Regular Season Multi Goal Games. 179 games and 19 behind Gretzky (189).

T2 consecutive All Time NHL Regular Season with at least 20 goals scored. 19 tied with Brendan Shanahan. Howe (22)

3rd All Time NHL Regular Season Road Game Winning Goals. 57 goals behind only Esposito (60) and Jagr (63).

T3 Most All Time NHL Regular Seasons with at least 20 goals scored. 19 tied with Brendan Shanahan, Dave Andreychuk, Jaromir Jagr, behind only Ron Francis (20) and Gordie Howe (22).

12th All Time NHL Regular Season Multi Point Games. 428 games, and 34 games * currently out of the Top 10 behind Esposito (457), and Crosby * (462). * As Crosby moves up the Top 10, the next player would be Francis (470).

14th NHL Regular Season All Situations Points. 1537 points, and 53 points *currently out of the Top 10 behind Thorton (1539), Crosby * (1570), Borque (1579), Esposito (1590). * If/when Crosby reaches the Top 10, the next player would be Sakic (1641).

15th NHL Regular Season Power Play Points. 576 points, and 34 points out of the Top 10 behind Messier (581), Selanne (588), N Lidstrom (590), Yzerman (595), and Jagr (610).

20 Goal Seasons might seem like a pretty standard feat in the NHL. But here’s some interesting stats to consider when comparing Ovi’s most recent 20 goal season to what 20 goals means historically:

531 Players All Time have reached 20 goals in 5+ times in their career
148 Players have reached 10+ times. 27.87% of players with 5+ 20 goal seasons reached the 10+ 20 goal season mark
30 Players have done it 15+ times. 20% of players with 10+goal seasons reached the 15+ 20 goal season mark. They are: Marleau, Yzerman, Nieuendyk, Hossa, Tkachuk, Mahovlich, Perrault, Kane, Bucyk, Recchi, Modano, Ullman, Robitaille, Crosby, Esposito, Messier, Selanne, Sakic, Iginla, Gretsky, Hull, Gartner, Sundin, Dionne, Jagr, Andreychuk, Shanahan, Ovi, Francis and Howe)

2 Players have done it 20+ times. Francis and Howe, so far, represent 0.3766% of the players that have 5+ 20 goal seasons making it to the 20 goal marker 20 times in their career. If Ovi were to join them before his contract expires with 20 times in his career, and a few new players were to reach the 5 season threshold it would still represent under 1% of repeat 20 goal players achieving such a feat.

9 Players have had 15 or more consecutive 20 goal seasons in their careers
100% of Ovechkin’s career, so far, are 20 goal seasons
94.44% as 17 consecutive seasons with 20+ goals of 18 career seasons playing for Sundin
94.44% as 17 of 18 for Dionne
90.48% as 19 of 21 for Shanahan
89.47% as 17 of 19 for Brett Hull
88.88% 16 of 18 for Esposito
84.62% as 22 of 26 for Howe
78.95% 15 of 19 for Gartner
70.83% as 17 of 24 for Jagr

Only Bill Barber and Jacque Lemaire’s 12 of 12 seasons, and Bossy’s 10 of 10 seasons match Ovi’s 100% mark of players having reached 20 goals at least 10 times.

95 Players (so far) in 2023-24 have reached 20 goals of the 711 players (so far) who have scored at least one goal, or 13.36% of the league’s goal scorers have reached the 20 goal milestone so far this year.

This is generally within the 10 year trend where ~100 of the ~700 players to score at least one goal will reach the 20 goal marker. That’s an average of ~3 players per team in a ~32 team league.
129 of 741 goal scorers, or 17.41% in 2022-23
137 of 780 goal scorers, or 17.56% in 2021-22
40 of 687 goal scorers, or 5.82% in 2020-21
87 of 710 goal scorers, or 12.25% in 2019-21
122 of 730 goal scorers, or 16.71% in 2018-19
118 of 726 goal scorers, or 16.25% in 2017-18
96 of 692 goal scorers, or 13,87% in 2016-17
105 of 694 goal scorers, or 15.13% in 2015-16
92 of 688 goal scorers, or 13.37% in 2014-15
101 out of 700 goal scorers, or 14.4% in 2013-14

Of the All Time Leading Goal Scorers to reach at least 600 career goals:
Howe 5x if you only count the last five NHL seasons, 3x if you include the WHL career years detour as the final five seasons
Br Hull 4x eached the 20 goal mark in his final five seasons, but 5x if you drop the age 41 season in 2005-06 at only 5 games
Bo Hull 4x both if you only count the last five NHL seasons, and if you combine the WHL career detour as the final five seasons
Andreychuk 4x reached the 20 goal mark in his final five seasons
Esposito 4x
Dionne 3x
Gartner 3x
Robitaille 3x
Sakic 3x
Selanne 3x
Shanahan 3x
Gretzky 2x
Iginla 2x
Lemieux 2x, but recall four of those seasons were sub-50 games due to health issues
Ciccarelli 1x
Jagr 1x
Messier 1x
Curry 0
Yzerman 0
So, Ovi’s output so far seems fairly in line with elite goal scoring output for his age at 3x 20 goals seasons with 2 seasons remaining

For whatever it’s worth, the starting their career portion of the stat consecutive seasons stat can be a bit misleading because of how most young players are broken into the league, which is why it’s often overlooked in compared to the consecutive number.

Consider two of the players to reach 19 consecutive seasons, but didn’t begin their career with 19 straight:

Howe was an 18 years old in 1946 when he joined a sub-500 points percentage Detroit team that also struggled to score goals, in an era where there were only 22 players that reached the 20 goal threshold. By the ’49 season Detroit had turned it around, and that began a string of 19 consecutive 20 goal seasons for Howe in the NHL. He ran up 5 more seasons of 20+ goals in the WHL before closing out his career just shy of the mark for a season in both leagues.

Shany was a 19 year old who played 65 games in a middle six support role for a barely .500 points percentage Devils team that struggled to score goals back in 1987-88. He would then put up 19 consecutive 20+ goal seasons before returning to NJ in his 21st season to squeak out 6 goals over 34 games as a 41 year old.

Here’s the most recent crop of First Overall picks and their early output:

Bedard 21 goals so far in 54 games at 18
Slafkovsky 4 goals in 39 games at 18 and so far is 14 in 67 games at 19
Power as a defender isn’t the best example
Lafrenière 12 in 56 at 19 yo and 19 in 79 at 20 yo
Hughes was 7 in 61 at 18 yo and 11 in 56 at 19 yo
Dalin is another defender so another bad example
Hischier was 20 in 82 at 19 and 17 in 69 at 20
Matthews is a shredder like Ovi, 40 in 82 at 19 and hasn’t been below 30 in 8 seasons
McDavid was 16 in 45 at 19 yo and then 30 in 82 at 20 yo
Ekblad is a D but the 12 in 81 at 18 yo and 15 in 78 at 19 yo is impressive
McKinan was 24 in 82 at 18 yo and then 14 in 64 at 19
Yakupov was 17 in 48 at 19 yo and 11 in 63 at 20
Nugent-Hopkins was 18 in 62 at 18 yo, leave out the shortened season, 19 for 80 at 20yo

If you eliminate the 3 defenders and look at only the most recent 10 forwards 4 of them reached 20 goals in their first season, while really only about 3 of them got anything near a full season of playing in their rookie year. Sure, not all of those forwards were brought in to be the team’s primary goal scoring threat, but that doesn’t negate the difficulty in which rookies, even the most coveted ones, have in finding ice time and goals in a league that generally prioritizes team results over individual players, experience over youth, and so on. It’s often out of a players control if they will get the games and deployments in their first season to achieve 20 goals, even for first overall picks.

Ovi came into the league at age 20, playing 81 games that season mostly as the team’s centerpiece scoring threat despite Caps sub .500 points percentage and then continued in that top line role for the next 18 seasons of 20 goals. It’s impossible to say that had Ovi come into the league as an 18 or 19 year old that his usage would have created that same kind of output but that’s the benefit of the unique timing of his draft, the lockout, etc. in this regard.

Of course, the big question continues to be how far away is Ovechkin from not just reaching Gretzky’s record but subsequently breaking it. However, as I’ve noted before, while Gretzky’s record itself is all all-sports highlight kind of achievement and the obvious media fixation, 900 represents the setting of a record at a whole different kind of perception being the only player to reach that plateau, even if it is only six more than Gretzky.

The path to 900 would might look something like this:

57 Regular Season Goals Remaining
2.183 Regular Seasons Remaining in the current contract
179 Regular Season Games Remaining in the current contract (up to 15 remaining 2023-24 plus up to 82 games each 2024-25 and 2025-26)

26.112 goals per season average from today forward
0.318 goas per game average from today forward

Career-to-date 2005-06 through Ovi’s 65 games played in 2023-24
843 goals scored over 19 regular seasons and 1,411 regular season games, on 6,580 total regular season shots
Average 74.2631 games, 44.3684 goals per season, 0.5974 goals per game
Average 346.32 shots per season, 4.67) shots per game, 7.8054 shots taken per goal scored

1.2847 seasons (at ~44 GPRS)
95.3134 games (at ~.6 GPG), or 1.2848 seasons (at ~75 games per)
378.04 shots (at ~7.8 SPGS), or 1.0916 seasons (at ~346 SPRS), or 81 games (at ~4.7 SPG) as 1.0916 seasons (at ~75 games per)

Last five seasons (2019-20 through to date 2023-24)
185 goals scored in 327 games, on 1,346 total shots
Average 65.4000 games, 37.0000 goals per season, 0.5657 goals per game
Average 269.2 shots per season, 4.11 shots per game, 7.27 shots per goal scored

1.5405 seasons (at 37 GPRS)
100.7691 games (at ~.57 GPG), or 1.5407 seasons (at ~65 games per)
414.49 shots (at ~7.3 SPGS), or 1.5393 seasons (at ~269 SPRS), or 100.8248 games (at ~4 SPG) as 1.5417 seasons (at ~65 games per)

Five lowest Goals per Game seasons (2010-11, 2011-12, 2016-17, 2020-21 and to date 2023-24)
148 goals scored in 348 games, on 1,390 shots
Average 69.6 games, 29.6 goals per season, 0.4253 goals per game
Average 278 shots per season, 3.9942 shots per game, 9.3919 shots per goal scored

1.9256 seasons (at ~30 GPRS)
134.0230 games (at .43 GPG), or 1.9256 seasons (at ~70 games per)
535.3383 shots (at ~9.4 SPGS), or 1.9257 seasons (at 278 SPRS) , or 134.0289 games (at ~4 SPG) as 1.9257 seasons (at ~70 games per)

In all three of these data sets it would seem highly likely Ovi should be able to reach the 900 goal milestone prior to completing his current contract. While the All Career numbers are very aggressive, some combination of taking the results from the prior five years and just isolating the five under-performing years are probably more representative of what we might expect to see going forward for Ovi’s production and show Ovi being able to complete the task well within the remaining contract.

However, if you take just the current season in isolation, the outlook looks deceivingly bad:

Current Season to date in 2023-24
21 goals scored in 64 games and 225 shots
0.328 goals per game, while averaging 3.52 shots per game and 10.71 shots per goal

2.7143 Seasons (at 21 GPRS)
173.7804 games (at .328 GPG), or 2.7153 seasons (at 64 games per)
610.57 shots (at ~10.7 SPGS), 2.7132 seasons (at 225 SPRS), or 173.429 games (at ~3.5 SPG) as 2.7098 seasons (at 64 games per)

While his current production to date this season wouldn’t be enough to reach 900 by the end of his contract it is also the Tale of Two Ovi in that the first half and second half production has been substantially different:

2023-24 First half of the season
41 games, 8 goals on 144 shots, 20 Assists, and 28 points
0.1951 goals per game, 18 shots per goal

2023-24 Second half to date
23 games, 13 goals on 81 shots, 11 Assists, and 24 points
0.5652 goals per game, 6.2307 shots per goal

Data size caveats aside, the most recent 23 games occurring so far in the second half of the season seem to be more in line with Ovi’s most recent five year average output suggesting it is probably both repeatable and sustainable to close out this season, than the first half of the season which falls far below even Ovi’s worst five year average (and from what I could find cherry picking results, any given 40 game block of Ovi’s career) making it feel much more like an anomaly than what the new norm might be expected as moving forward.


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Hate and Fear are not synonymous

About a year ago I made, in response to the right wing media’s insistence that their hatred of Transgender people wasn’t hatred it was disapproval of a person’s chosen lifestyle and the left leaning media’s instances of labeling such disapproval as Transphobia, I noted:

“Stop using -phobia when what is really happening is -misia. Phobia implies a fear of. Misia speaks to a hatred of. It’s not a fear of queer people, or trans people, it’s a hatred of. The culture wars are being fueled by hate, not fear.

What the LGBTQIA community is experiencing isn’t homophobia or transphobia, it is homomisia and transmisia. People are being physically accosted, and killed, not ran away from or shied away from. People are having their rights, and their lives, legislated away, not just ignored.

Label it correctly and real solutions can be enacted, because we are long past fear and misunderstanding at this point with the kinds of laws being passed, and vigilante actions being taken. We’re talking about outright hate, and that’s a -misia.”

This is still 100% true and it needs repeating.

To make this ever so much more clear this time around, here’s a collection of definitions found on several major English Language Dictionary resources, major Psychological research publishers, Sociology and Anthropology resources, and within LGBTQIA+ advocacy community

A phobia, comes from the Greek word meaning “fear of,” and is a diagnosable anxiety disorder, defined by an irrational, unrealistic, persistent and excessive fear of an object or situation. Phobias are a mental health disorder that typically result in a rapid onset of fear beyond the individual’s control.

A misia (pronounced “miz-ee-ya”) comes from the Greek word misos, which means “abhorrence of, hatred, disgust for, or the revulsion of,” and implies the individual’s conscious choice to disapprove of, and intentionally marginalize another person or community in a way that is knowingly harmful to the target audience.

While I may not know what lies in the recesses of someone’s mind, or in their “heart” so to speak, I can certainly draw conclusions based on their their actions. In society, thoughts are meaningless without expression, and actions have meaningful consequences to both individuals and society as a whole. Therefore it matters not what someone believes they believe. However, it absolutely matters how they act, and what they do. As the old adage goes, ‘actions speak louder than words.’

One need only to consider the actions of those who are being labeled homophobic to understand that they are not afraid of gays, lesbians, bisexuals, pansexuals and other non-hetrosexual expressions of sexual desire and physical love based on the above definition of phobia. Same with those who are now being labeled transphobic. They are not afraid of transgendered and non-binary individuals based on the definition of phobia above. These people are expressing a misia and should be labeled as such.

Using Phobia instead of Misia:

Attempts to legitimize prejudice and oppression by attributing them to an involuntary fear rather than to conscious hate and bigoty

By reframing the choice of being prejudiced and oppressive to a state of intrinsic being by suggesting it’s just who they are and not what they’ve chosen to think and feel

Therefore, removing the accountability of a prejudiced and oppressive person by implying their actions and attitudes are outside their control instead of conscious decisions they have elected to act out.

Furthermore, Phobia’s use in this instance perpetuates the issue of proper mental health diagnoses and interventions for real and recognized disorders by mislabeling a person with medical sounding terminology that doesn’t accurately describe their actions.

Finally, drawing from all of the above, consider that phobia just “sounds” less antagonistic, and more acceptable, because of it’s colloquial application and broad societal acceptance of a perceived responses to everyday experiences even without having the DSM diagnosis of any of those expressed responses as an actual disorder.

Broadly speaking, while it’s no laughing matter to suffer from Coulrophobia, the idea of being afraid of clowns is more generally pretty acceptable in society and often just a passing dislike of clowns gets cast as coulrophobia. People are routinely labeled arachnophobic, ophidiophobic and cynophobic when expressing a generalized “fear” of spiders, snakes, and dogs even if their actual behaviors around spiders, snakes, and dogs looks more like an Instagram Reel comedy routine than an actual phobic response. There are lots of social references to trypanphobic, iatrophobic and mysophobic when someone says they’re afraid of needles, doctors, and germs even if their actual responses lack the debilitating effects of the actual phobias. And, plenty of people call themselves arcophobic and aerophobic when they claim to have issues with heights or flying despite appearing to effortlessly peer out the penthouse windows of a skyscraper or riding on a plane. Even references to being agoraphobic, anthropophobia, and neopobic when someone tries to label themselves as not doing goo with crowds, with people, or with new things usually comes with more of a passing dislike of those experiences more than an actual disorder around dealing with them.

Thus, calling someone homophobic or transphobic, sounds more acceptable socially when someone shows a dislike to LGBTQIA, because it places the discomfort in the same category as things like spiders and heights that already have widespread social understanding. It is softer on the ears, and mind, than the more caustic, and correct, Misia suffix which will generally illicit an understanding of prejudice, hatred, and bigotry. This allows bigots to brand themselves in such a way that they don’t have to answer for their hatred in the same way that calling someone a racist would when that person might take the same actions toward a Black person. After all, it’s not like it would EVER be acceptable to walk around calling a racist Afrophobic or something to that effect. Yet, that’s exactly how the effects of homomisistic and transmisiastic actions end up being diluted when referred to as phobias.

Language has a powerful way of framing what and how people think and feel about the world around them so it is vital to label things correctly. I implore you, when referencing the hate the LGBTQIA community faces, don’t allow it to be branded as a phobia. Relatively few people will ever truly be afraid of gays and trans folks in a debilitating fashion, while the majority of anti-gay and anti-trans behaviors often manifest themselves in oppressive and violent manners deserving of the Misia label, so call it what it is. If it makes homomisistic and transmisiastic individuals feel uncomfortable to hear themselves branded as such, good. Imagine what their prejudice and oppression are doing to he LGBTQIA community when homomisistic and transmisiastic aren’t called out.

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Subway Math

A fellow commuter posted a pretty humorous meme that stated something to the effect of:

“New York math is being upset about waiting 8 minutes for the next train but fine with walking 20 minutes to the next destination.”

To which, my response was, “But…the math for walking does work out because it’s really:
8 minutes waiting on the platform for the train
2 minutes of passengers on the train to shove off and the people on the platform to shove on
2 minutes of waiting for the doors to close because despite the announcement about another train being directly behind, everyone holds the door not wanting to concede that they don’t fit.
3 minutes riding on the delayed train to the next stop
2 minutes of passengers on the train to shove off and the people on the platform to shove on
2 minutes of waiting for the doors to close because despite the announcement about another train being directly behind, everyone holds the door not wanting to concede that they don’t fit.
3 minutes riding on the delayed train to the next stop
2 minutes of passengers on the train to shove off and making their way to the turn-styles.

25 minutes later arrived at the place I could have walked in 20 minutes by

1.5 minutes per city block along a North-South avenue for about the 10 streets or so that would normally separate a couple of subway stops along the grid at an “average” type of New York walker pace, while waiting for double long lights on major East-West thoroughfares like 14, 23, 34, 42, etc., dodging tourists that meander in groups four wide and wait for the cross signal despite no vehicular traffic and are generally oblivious to the other pedestrians around them, and expertly navigating the natural slalom of street vendors, streams of piss, stupidly placed bags of trash, stiflingly unnecessary NYPD barriers, and the occasionally stealthy sewer rats making the same general slalom that I am.

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The myth of political independents and third party representation

Recently, several national polls by Pew and Gallop, have noted that up to half of Americans see themselves as politically independent. This is part of an ongoing trend of voters self-identifying as Independent over recent years. Half of potential voters is a substantial number that outstrips those that self-identify as either conservative or liberal, and furthermore, although potential voter is different than registered affiliation, it is also greater than registered voters for either Republicans and Democrats. This, of course, has all the headlines predicting the rise of Third Party alternatives, like No Labels, the demise of Democratic presidential candidate Joe Biden, and any other doomsaying in American politics.

However, it’s also misleading in multiple ways. 

First off, self-identifying as “Independent” on a national research poll is much different than registering one’s self as Independent in their local jurisdiction, where “unaffiliated” registered voters actually work out to about 28% of the total for the states that report such data.  Registered independents have hovered around 30% of the available voter registrations analyzed since around the turn of the millennium (and close to a quarter of available voter registrations dating back to the late 1970s), so despite this trend in self-identification for pollsters, when it’s time to register, the majority of Independents still toe a party line.

This is likely, because second, being “Independent” is an ambiguous term devoid of a consistent meaning in how it is applied by-and-to voters. To some, being Independent is a way distance themselves from the perceived attributions of political spectrum labels, meaning they may hold conservative or liberal values but don’t want to be associated to the perception of conservative or liberal labels in society. To others, being Independent is a way to voice discontent with the formal political parties, but despite this discontent with the party affiliated with conservative or liberal values, they themselves are still conservative or liberal. And, to a few, being Independent is actually believing themselves to be both middle of the political spectrum and therefore also party agnostic.

This tracks with research from Gallop, Pew, American National Election Studies, and other polling groups as well as through investigative journalism by the New York Times, Washington Post and the Wall Street Journal. Generally, all these studies have pointed out that less than 10% of voters are truly Independents, where their values and beliefs lack a political skew and hold a clearly agnostic self-attested voting record. It’s suggested more than half of self-identified Independents consistently register to vote with a political party, despite the option to do otherwise, and over 75% of self-identified Independents responses on beliefs and values consistently skew to either conservative or liberal, while up to 90% of self-identified Independents self-attested voting record demonstrates a consistent skew to this on the American political spectrum.

Third, self-identified Independents, according to some research, both register to vote, and participate in voting at a much lower rate than self-identified affiliated voters. However, this trend is most pronounced among the self-identified Independents where their values and beliefs lack a political skew, but is least likely to exist among those whos values and beliefs tend to track with being either conservative or liberal in some way. Meaning, true independents are not only politically agnostic, but seem to be politically unmotivated, where as Independents that chose to self-identify as Independent but have a clear belief or self-attested voting record that skews either conservative or liberal are still motivated to vote and their votes predictably fall within the existing conservative and liberal political divides.

Likely, this may be because true Independents, those without a determinable skew, don’t find enough overlap between their values and beliefs with that of the American political landscape to be motivated enough to participate in registering and voting, whereas among the majority of self-identified Independents that have a conservative or liberal skew, there’s just enough overlap in their values and beliefs and that of the existing American political landscape to participate, with a clear skew, despite their self-perceived independence. 

Interestingly, and finally, the research more than suggests changes in the size of the self-identified Independent population isn’t driven by a lack of either conservative or liberal values and beliefs, but rather by discontent with the representation of those values or beliefs within the media and political parties. Meaning the number of agnostic Independents hasn’t changed all that much, but the number of self-identified but skewing to either conservative or liberal values has driven these increases in the self-identified Independent population, and the distribution of that self-identified but skewing population changes by how the national party is performing and the media coverage of values and issues within being either conservative leaning or liberal leaning. Therefore, self-identified Independents are generally driven not a desire to divorce one’s self from being either conservative or liberal, but rather might be seeking an alternative representation of what it means to be either conservative or liberal socially or politically. 

All of the data seems to say, true independents, those whose values and beliefs are not aligned to the traditions of conservatives or liberals, make up a very small part of the American political experience. So, what we are looking based on this data probably isn’t the creation of a Third Party that’s a universal alternative to both conservative and liberal ideologies, probably because there’s not a large enough population of them with similar enough values and beliefs to truly build a party around.

So, if it isn’t about creating a true Third Party alternative to both Conservative and Liberal values, than it’s probably a reckoning around the way the two existing parties function as big tents of right or left leaning ideologies. Independents of this stripe don’t necessarily want an independent party, they want a party that better matches their existing conservative or liberal ideology in a way that the existing party does not for whatever reason.

And, this tracks with most multi-party political systems in that there are usually multiple right leaning conservative parties, and left leaning liberal parties in which to initially align one’s self with, and not necessarily a single conservative party, a single liberal party, and a single “other” party. Each of the right leaning political parties tend to emphasize different aspects of conservative ideology and right wing values, while each of the left leaning political parties would tend to emphasize their own interpretations of liberal ideology and left wing preferences. 

Inevitably, however, most of these multi-party political systems no single party is dominant enough to manage the government on its own. The conservative leaning voters are distributed among multiple right wing parties that support different interpretations of conservative ideas and values, and likewise the liberal leaning voters are distributed among multiple left wing parties that support different interpretations of liberal ideas and values, and on occasions there may rise a party that doesn’t fit the traditional conservative or liberal ideology and attract the voters than don’t skew toward the usual representing parties. The so-called winning party of any given election usually lacks a true majority in which to govern with. This creates a need for power sharing governance, usually by forming coalitions with within similar value and belief systems, meaning if the highest vote getting party leans to the conservative right than they will usually form a governing coalition to create a conservative skewed majority in which to govern with. However, not every power sharing scenario will result a unity government, as coalitions routinely fall apart due to ideological differences, and out-of-power minorities still wield some power within coalition rule. 

While voters in multiparty systems may feel they are being given a broad range of social, fiscal and governance from which to chose from, the reality is the parties generally only fall within either conservative or liberal ideologies and there’s a lot of compromise that has to occur for their party to influence governance overall, which may result in actual rule that’s substantially different from that which they initially voted for. 

The process of having to form coalition governments that are heavily influenced by political compromise isn’t that much different from the current big tent American parties intra party struggles themselves prior to taking power.. 

The primary difference is that in the American system the typical conservative coalition and the typical liberal coalitions are supposed to pre-exist in the national party, where Republicans represent a pre-determined conservative coalition, and Democrats represent a pre-determined liberal coalition. Having a pre-designated big tent to hold all of the conservative ideas, or all of the liberal ideas, can allow for easier transitions in governance because the compromises necessary in the coalition process would supposedly have happened pre-election, and insinuating that conservatives, or liberals, are all already in lockstep. 

However, as we’ve seen in the recent past, the Republican big tent combines a lot of single-issue voters, and diverse conservative ideas into one amalgamation. Generally, we might think of the Republican Party as blocks of representatives or voters who have common priorities, such as the social conservatives, who might be sub-categorized by those who are ethnically or culturally conservative and those who are influenced by conservative religious beliefs, then there’s the conservative small government champions that fall into sub categories like anti-taxation, anti-regulation, and a group that more broadly wants to reduce the physical size of government sprawl (fewer people IN government), dovetailing off that there’s a neoliberal or American branded “pro-business” wing that’s as much anti-labor as it is anti-regulation and anti-taxation believing that unbridled business freedom both drives the economy and trickles down to the masses, then here are the conservative hawks, be they pro-Pentagon on the military-industrial complex side or pro-LEO on the law-and-order prison-industrial complex, they believe in projecting strength and might, then there are the American Librarians who’s version of governance is there is none and everyone magically leaves everyone else alone, and now we feature the facist-inspired MAGA wing of self-proclaimed victims who’s xenophobic rage is only matched by it’s devout hatred of anything even remotely perceived as liberal. Sometimes there’s overlap in expectations across these groups, but many times there is not, which creates in-fighting among the different groups as to what conservative policies are the best. Further to that, there’s a myriad of single-issue voters who’s primary expectation is to protect their single-issue, such as anti-abortion/pro-forced birth, or pro-unbridled second amendment, or extreme anti-taxation, anti-LGBTQ equality, anti-Feds/State’s rights/pro-10th, etc. drive their reason to support a particular party solely to accomplish that value or goal, however, the party may not necessarily reflect the broader spectrum of their beliefs which sets up potential divisions on issues that are conflicting.

Similarly, there are en blanc voting blocks within the Democratic Party’s big tent as well, which causes a diverse amalgamation of beliefs and ideas from which the party must draw inspiration from. Generally, we might think of the Democratic Party in groupings of common themes, such as ethnically or culturally liberal who are influenced by the experiences of marginalized people and the desire to have equitable social outcomes, then there’s a group that is pro-labor, and another that is pro-consumer, both of which are looking for protections for groups that are traditional targets of oppression by neoliberal, pro-business systems, there’s a reformist wing that identify systemic sources of oppression, corruption, and abuse of power (be them abolitionists back in the day, or police reformists now, as two quick examples), there’s a pro-environmental wing of the party, and a socialism inspired wing that looks to leverage government to provide foundational support to the people (think social security, unemployment insurance, public education, housing access issues, universal healthcare, etc). Further to that, there are also a myriad of single issue voters, such as pro-choice specifically around women’s healthcare, focus on specific marginalized groups (Queers, Jews, Muslims, Blacks, Hispanics, etc), focus on specific reforms or select green initiatives, etc. that often raise internal conflicts when the intersectional needs don’t actual align clearly with one another. 

This process of pre-existing coalitions represented by two monolithic parties would seem to eliminate some of the perceived voter choice from election since what voters value as key attributes around specific social, fiscal or governance ideas might not be surfaced by the big tent party in the same way that voters might voice them by distributing their votes among different interpretations of either conservative or liberal ideologies if there were multiple parties of each to chose from.

However, one of the primary reasons that this big tent approach to pre-existing coalitions happens is almost by design with the way the check and balances of the US system of government function. The powers of the executive branch are offset by the powers of the legislative, and vice versa, as well as the powers of the States being balanced by the Feds and vice versa. This power structure balancing isn’t trivial, either. It ensures that there be widespread agreement across all the governmental stakeholders in order to enact large scale, national policy. It requires that any political party have some level of control of multiple aspects of government in order to truly govern within their ideology at scale. 

Therefore, it takes more than winning the Presidency for a political party to be successful, despite the focus on it by voters, the media, and even some of the national parties vying for political power. 

It takes more than winning a simple majority of the seats in either of the Federal Legislative Houses. It takes more than winning a simple majority of the state Governorships, or winning the majority of the State Legislative Houses, or even winning the Mayoral positions and the local legislative houses. It takes more than gaining administrative positions, and judicial positions, and any other elected positions throughout government. 

It takes winning the right combination of all of those, and more, to truly impact governance because of all the checks and balances built into the US Governmental system of representation. 

This is why the focus on so-called Independent voters need for third party representation for the Presidential Election seems like an ill-fated endeavor.

Presidents representing either of the two major political parties are routinely hamstrung in being able to enact broad policy change by the checks and balances inherent to the system, by either of the houses of the Federal Legislature or by coalitions of the individual states and their executive and/or legislative branches or the effects of the Judicial branch at any level.  This is by design in how it’s built into the constitutional framework for governance both by how the different parts of representative government are structured and in how their duties and responsibilities compliment and counteract one another. It forces compromise even within the party itself in order to effectively govern from the President down to the lowest elected local officials, AND from the lowest elected local officials back on up to the President. 

Thus, even if a third party candidate could find enough Electoral College votes to capture the Presidency, the checks and balances inherent in the system would inevitably limit the third party candidates ability to affect policy broadly without having adequate representation across all supporting levels of government. 

It would take an absolute machine of a political third party, roughly equivalent to the size and scope of the current Conservative Right Republican or Liberal Left Democratic to effectively govern nationally and there in lies the problem. Such a machine doesn’t exist, and probably won’t unless it comes from the divestiture of one of the existing political parties.

This has happened before in US Politics. The most prominent example occurred in during the mid-1800s. It is important when reviewing this to recall that the naming conventions that refer to Republicans and Democrats are NOT synonymous with the current incarnations of parties taking on those names. The modern Republican Party is a conservative, right leaning party, while the modern Democratic Party is a liberal, left leaning party on the US political spectrum, although it can be argued that the Democratic Party’s interpretation of liberal ideas is typically center-right on the international political spectrum and the Republican Party would fall to the far-right, much further to the right internationally than they are self-perceived domestically. 

In the 1830s the Whigs, founded on traditional conservatism, gained national prominence forming out of what was the National Republican Party’s classical conservative roots, along with picking up membership from the conservative Anti-Masonic national party, as well as prominent regional conservative parties, like L&O party. Meanwhile, the the Democratic Party came into power as the successors of Jeffersonian democracy from ideological split within the Democratic-Republican Party. 

By the early 1840s, those two parties were joined by The Liberty Party as a political outgrowth of the growing anti-slavery movement. The Free Soil Party was born from the Liberty Party and factions of the remaining moderate Whigs as well as unrepresented Democratic Party members, both of who aligned with abolitionism. 

To counter this trend, The “Know-Nothings” movement and the “Order of the Star Spangled Banner” rose to prominence in the 1850s and politicized themselves in 1856 as the highly nativist, extremely conservative American Party. By the end of that decade, the remaining divisions within the Whigs, Liberty Party, and the moderate leaning Democratic Party abolitionists helped form the foundations to the new, moderate-left leaning Republican Party to counteract the Know Nothing American Party. Further, the Unionist Party, which became the National Union Party later in the decade, sought to counter the idea of secession with finding a compromise to the divergent ideas of the other national parties.

By 1960 the Democratic Party split along ideological lines at the Democratic National Convention. A portion of the conservative Democrats, mostly of the Southern Opposition Party, along with the remaining conservative Whigs formed the Constitutional Union Party in direct opposition to the perceived “radical” ideas of the 1860 Republican platform. By mid-decade, the Democrats were split along ideological lines, this time “war” and “peace” factions, while the Unionist Party included variations of Unconditional Union Party, the Constitutional Union Party, and other tangential unionism ideologies. 

During the 1870s over interpretations of what the post-war nation should look like greatly influenced the political landscape. However, unlike the perceived political chaos that rose from the pre-war power struggles, Reconstruction both helped create increased political schisms, such as the Democratic Party splitting as much along geographical lines as much as ideological ones, and the creation of secondary parties dedicated to specific ideologies like classical liberalism inspired Liberal Republican Party, the progressive Anti-Monopoly party, the Greenback party, and others, as well as simultaneously helping to consolidate political power under the conservative leaning Democratic Party and liberal leaning Republican Parties, effectively pushing the nation toward the two-party framework we are more familiar with today.

Through the end of the 1800s and into the early 1900s, a number of secondary parties gained short lived national attention, but the prominent parties of the time remained the conservative leaning Democratic Party, which absorbed populist People’s Party and conservative Silver Party, and liberal leaning Republican Party, which absorbed the progressive Bull Moose Party and some iterations of the Labor Parties of the time. 

A combination of the effects of recovering from both the Great Depression and the Second World War led to internal struggles within both the Republican and Democratic Parties, where the parties began an ideological shift in that post-war Republicans began leaning more moderate-right through the leadership of war hero Ike and industrialist Rockefeller, pushing out the remaining of the progressives in the party, while Democrats once again split along geographical lines as much as ideological ones, creating moderate-left Northern Democratic politicians that generally supported social reform and the conservative Southern Democratic politicians that supported Jim Crow traditions. Unlike in the past, these internal divisions didn’t create “new” parties, per se. Instead, the existing power structures simply flipped the political affiliations of the party, where conservative Southern Democrats joined the Republican party pushing it further right on the political spectrum, and the remaining progressive Republicans joined the Northern Democrats to help establish the Democratic Party as moderate-liberals. 

Two important things helped drive the establishment of the modern two party system beyond the social issues that the initial party flip-flop was heavy influenced by. First, the geographic size and increased diversity of the population (in terms of ethnicity and religion, as well as economically with the rise of the middle class) and, second, the rise of the United States influence on the international stage both changed how parties interacted with voters, messaged themselves around ideologies and policies, and were generally able to function. So, while third party candidates still existed at all levels of government throughout this time, the two national parties dominated the conversation because it became increasingly difficult to spin up party machinery across the country to broadly compete because the two prominent parties were set up to theoretically represent a wide range of domestic and international, social and economic, interests on opposing sides of the political spectrum. 

As mentioned before, the two parties are thus an amalgamation of either right-leaning, conservative ideologies (the current Republican Party), or left-leaning, liberal ideologies (the current Democratic Party), thus eliminating the perceived “need” for parties that showcased only specific conservative, or liberal, interests, and creating big tents that make it easy for voters to sort themselves in a very simple, binary way. This contributes, in part, to why it makes it difficult for third parties to message themselves to voters, especially when those third party platforms are not unique enough to draw attention away from the existing big tent messages of the dominant parties. Even for the few times when third party’s platforms have veered far enough away from the big tent concepts to distinguish themselves from the binary sorting of being broadly conservatives, or broadly liberal, its ended up not being mass appeal enough to peel off enough voters from either party to establish itself.

While third parties have had varying success at uplifting local candidates for local offices, and occasionally having a local office candidate gain some level of national prominence, their influence has mostly been limited to that success. Not because there’s a problem with the candidates themselves, or the local platforms they run on, but because the third parties lack the machinery to scale their operations beyond the local level effectively.

The limitations of that success however, hasn’t stopped the belief among the politically disillusioned to believe somehow a third party candidate could win the Presidency. And, the belief that winning the Presidency would have a trickle down effect in politics. And, that the perceived importance of the Presidency would inspire voters to support other candidates down ticket in order to cascade the party’s impact on the Federal Legislature and further to the State, and then local level elected representatives. 

Thus, third parties, like the seemingly ill-fated No Labels party keep popping up in runs for national office, specifically the Presidency. Their leadership appears to simultaneously overestimate the size of independent voters that their platform actually speaks to and the ability to leverage that to win the Presidency in order to establish the party nationally. 

What’s more likely to happen on, as has been shown in recent third party runs for national office, is that the party’s platform will not appeal to agnostic independent voters in a meaningful way, and will not unite protest votes of both parties equally. Rather, it’ll siphon votes off of one of the parties, weakening them in that particular election cycle, potentially causing that party to lose the targeted office, but not resulting in a strong enough showing for the third party to win that office. 

The lack of broad(er) appeal, and inability to sustain momentum from election to election, isn’t just limited to the third party’s platform itself. It’s heavily impacted by the lack of down-ticket representation that would help justify the third party’s appeal, and influence, across the expanse of government. Voters are going to be more reluctant to split the ticket if the third party’s only impact is going to be a long-shot Presidential bid while they’re still stuck with a binary choice for all the other offices. And, this is especially pronounced among the ideologically leaning self-identified independent voters who say they are not Democratic or Republican but still inherently vote along the party line anyhow. 

And that’s the catch 22. Local third parties haven’t figured out how to scale at the national level, and national third parties haven’t figured out a scalable way of generating widespread down ticket success, meaning there’s no effective or efficient way for third parties to compete in a meaningfully broad way.

All of this isn’t to say that third parties don’t have a place in modern politics. They do. They provide a potential reason for the national parties to have to change the parameters of their big tents.

That’s also not to say that a third party cannot rise to prominence the way many had 100 years ago. They might, especially if they are born from a massive shift in how one of the national parties functions, such as the ongoing power struggle between MAGA and establishment GOP that splinters the two factions into competing parties, one of populist right wing extremism and another of more moderate traditional conservatism. 

Ultimately though, the fairy tale utopia most modern, upstart, third party representatives and disillusioned voters is doomed to fail because the Constitutional Republic in its current form isn’t designed to support third parties in the same way that other democracies operating in Parliamentary systems appear to support them.

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20 albums that greatly influenced my taste in music: the punk rock edition, part 1



I was challenged by Bill Humphrey, a legend in his own right to musical chaos and one of the few people I trust to provide me with quality musical inspiration, to choose 20 albums that greatly influenced my taste in music. Since I’ve done like a dozen of these challenges in the past, I’m going to spin it since I haven’t covered my “punk” side before, here’s the list of punk, hardcore, emo, screamo, mathcore, and the like that helped cultivate my caustic, anarchist rock side. Note, these aren’t in any particular order, just the order I felt like posting them in. 

Album 10: Crisis “the Hollowing”

Much like the hodgepodge of the city itself, Crisis embodied much of dysfunctional style of NYC cultivating a fan base as diverse as the band. They were the rainbow that shone from the grime. An angelic demon rising out of overdriven amplifiers. And, bastion of different hailing from scenes that were, at times, accused of being stale of sameness. It was that unique approach which drew me in as a fan. I knew of them by reputation, but my first introduction as a college radio programmer was on the Hollowing, and to say I was in awe would have been an understatement. It wasn’t anything I’d heard before but had aspects of the familiar in metal, prog, hardcore, and more, and that caustic combination intrigued me. The controlled chaos that embodied both their recordings and live show was beyond invigorating. The lyrics were as challenging as the compositions were as challenging as the musicianship which remains why their catalog is so amazing and adventurous. And, most importantly, their kindness as humans was beyond inspiring – because as a kid that didn’t fit into any scene, they always made me feel welcome.

“given my life to sacrifice, nothing left to call myself Caught up in my purpose, can’t seem to get what I want What I want can’t seem to get what it is that I want. I said”

Album 9: The Bouncing Souls “Maniacal Laughter”

Ah, to be a Jersey kid. And, have bands write about Jersey things. It’s a special comfort considering the condescending way a bunch of shit-ass states with no redeeming qualities look down their nose at the awesome that is Dirty Jerz. (the) Bouncing Souls capture the spirit of the Jersey in a punkified post-Springsteen kind of way by weaving insightful story telling into frenetic songs in a memorable, sing-a long kind of way. We played “Here we go!” at my wedding, “the Freaks, Nerds, and Romantics” was practically a theme song for my “crew” at one point, and, let’s face it “Quick Check Girl” almost feels like it should have been the soundtrack to those early Kevin Smith flicks. For me, the band remains as a fixture because they are an unimpeachable part of my NJ DNA and provide me with an unassailable guilty pleasure that I will never, ever feel guilty about indulging in. 

“Another Wedensday came and it seemed it was right, so I wrote her a note that I hoped she would like:
“Dear Kiah, would you like to go with me to the boardwalk, what fun it will be. We’ll eat cotton candy, and we’ll get french fries with vinegar, and get a plate of funnel cake, then we’ll go on the Zipper, look out on the ocean and puke it all up. All the people will scream. We can have a laugh, we can have a laugh, what do you say? We can have a laugh, what do you say? What do you say? What do you say?””

Album 8: The Dillinger Escape Plan “Calculating Infinity”

To paraphrase the description I gave upon seeing DEP at MACROCK back in ’98 “this is what happens when Jersey kids spend too many hours on the Garden State Parkway in summer shore traffic with no AC.” While that’s an apt description for the unrelenting aural spasm of their live performances supporting the Under the Running Board EP it’s equally as viable for the neurotic cacophony of sound that ensconces the debut LP as well. Ultimately, what resonated with me was the unencumbered hardcore aggression fused with jazz-inspired runs slamming against metallic dissonance drawn through prog influenced compositions that were an aural encapsulation of the lyrical all out war on humanity, or to put it way more compactly “shits whack” in dirty Jerz terms. If you know me, I mean really know me, you know that this album is pretty much a version of the soundtrack to my brain.

“Take your medicine like a champ That sting can last a million years Self absorb that utopia So bad, I just feel it I just feel it Everything’s fine I pushed you too far (you pushed me too far) You pushed me too far Yeah, you pushed me too far “

Album 7: Life of Agony “River Runs Red”

RRR is a criminally underrated record…in 90s music revivalism, in the repertoire of misanthropic angst, in LGBTQ culture, in the Roadrunner catalog, and in its influence on a half dozen sub genres, and yet, in infinite ways none of those things are the same because of RRR either. It binds hardcore’s attitude to the concept element of prog with alternative’s melodies and metal’s riffs in an emotional outburst. Why is this important to me? Because when I discovered the album, about a year after its release, it spoke to me. Not because I could relate to the abusive and neglect as much as I could feel in deep and meaningful ways sympathy, and empathy, for personal emotional struggles and felt I could tangently relate to that frustrated cry, not for help, but for acknowledgement.

“Find a way, find a way, I’ve found a way To cope with the everyday now Raise your hands if you understand”

Album 6: Green Day “American Idiot”

I’ll bet you thought I was gonna put Dookie here, didn’t you? Would you believe Warning would have this spot if not for my Youngling’s love of this record? What makes AI so important for me is how it resonated with my kindergarten aged kids and helped bond our musical paths to one another. Sure, any video we green slime is going to appeal to that age, but their inquisitive nature about the lyrics and how they seemed to get into the idea that the story was the whole album, not just a song, was really inspiring too when revisiting the record with a fresh perspective, since the album keeps reinventing itself in my musical conscious.

“Well, maybe I’m the faggot, America I’m not a part of a redneck agenda Now everybody, do the propaganda And sing along to the age of paranoia

Album 5: Rise Against ” Revolution per Minute”

Punk with a conscious is probably an understatement for RA, and that was a big part of the attraction to them as the heavier, edgier, and more pop-ish little brother to Bad Religion’s sound. I knew of the stuff Tim had done with the Killing Tree and to a degree the first two RA albums but RPM was a turning point in my listening, not just of RA but of punk overall, because I actively started collecting catalogs and not just consuming singles. And, for good reason, because RPM consists of 12 bursts of near punk perfection that inspires me to sing along, and finger point, as much as it did for me to get more introspective about what’s important, to me, and to get involved again in activism again.

“Simply because you can breathe Doesn’t mean you’re alive or that you really live This life here has taken its toll She just doesn’t know how much more she can give”

Album 4: The Clash “London Calling”

“This is not a time to be dismayed. This is punk rock time. This is what Joe Strummer trained you for.” – Henry Rollins. Can’t really argue with Rollins’ logic here, in that Strummer, Jones, and company really did try to teach us a lot about the real world in raucous, three minute bursts. The impact of the lyrics alone was enough to set me down a very political musical path in my youth. The Clash’s ground breaking sociopolitical commentary aside, the double album also features some slick production that pulls together the band’s broadening creativity without neutering their vivacious performances. In the end, the result is as much a Molotov Cocktail of what would become alternative rock’s most insidious sounds as it was a callback to the boy’s punk rock roots and continues to influence musicians, lyricists and listeners of all stripes in ways other punk of that era has not – myself included.

“When they kick at your front door How you gonna come With your hands on your head Or on the trigger of your gun You can crush us, you can bruise us And even shoot us But oh-oh, the guns of Brixton”

Album 3: Vision of Disorder “Imprint”

This was the first number one record I promoted to radio and holds a special place in my heart. It reached the CMJ Loud Rock’s top spot in the summer of 98 wedged in between Slayer and Fear Factory if I recall correctly, and absolutely deserved to stand among those titans for that moment. The songs are shifty and sly, with edgy riffs, evocative vocals, gravity breaking grooves, and yet everything about the aural experience has this sense of anxiety, of barely being in control, such that it felt like the next compositional change could drop the whole album and your experience with it into utter chaos. And, that barely incontrolness is how much of the band’s live show translated, complete with straight out of Strong Island brutality. From the bombastic opening of What you are to the melodic meltdown of Jada Bloom the album packs so much more than its ever been given credit for, including some intriguing lyrical gems. like this opener for the title track:

“You look me straight in the eyes It’s like a reaction felt straight to the heart makes me feel like I’ve been alive Makes me wonder if I got the strength to carry on Not just to get by”

Album 2: Boysetsfire “After the Eulogy”

The intensity of this band has always been a bit off the charts which is probably why they garnered such a cathartic appeal among both emo and hardcore kids in their sociopolitical melding of soaring melodies and absolutely brutal breakdowns. This record quite literally helped changed the way I listened to music, which is saying something for a snobby, old, curmudgeonly fuck like myself. It’s driven, both aurally and lyrically in a way that just speaks to my anger, and my fucking rage, with lyrics like:

“How many starving millions Have to die on our front doorsteps How many dying millions Have to crawl to our front doorsteps Forget the words and good intentions Unless we rise”

Album 1. H2O F. T. T. W.

I got into punk late. Not that I didn’t listen to punk inspired stuff, or even own some punk releases, but to consider myself a fan of the genre was something that really began to blossom after college. At a time in most normal people’s lives when they would be settling into their comfy musical blanket, I was out on an exploration of circle pits and finger pointing in no small part because of H2O. Promoting FTTW at the Syndicate, it was Tiz Tisdale’s passion that rubbed off on me during our conversations about the record. The hooks were infectious. The concise bursts of sound were invigorating. But it was ultimately the lyrics that were most inspiring,

“And no one said it was gonna be easy And I’m not afraid to try And with the odds stacked up against me I will have to fight One life, one chance, gotta do it right” And, a little NYC love certainly didn’t hurt…

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Ovi Watch: 1500

Ovechkin reached 1500 points today. He’s only the 16th player in NHL history to do so, and reached the milestone in the 12th quickest number of games. The point came on an assist to Dylan Strome’s goal, marking 673 assists in his career, good for 69th and only two behind fellow sniper Iginla. 

While the assists are nice, it was actually kind of disappointing it didn’t come on a goal – the Great Eight’s calling card. Making up ground on the Great One’s record while reaching such a monumental milestone would have been nice. However, the lack of goal scoring so far this season is actually really disappointing considering entering the season Ovi only needed 73 to take sole possession of first in NHL regular season goal scoring.

I have seen a lot written already analyzing his shot attempts, taking into account the usual criteria around shot rates, position on ice, type of shot, shot velocity, team mates, defenses and goalies, game situations, and so on. Generally speaking, many of those things remain in-line with his career averages resulting in an expected goals that would put him on a pace only slightly lower than his career averages. And, yet, his real goals total is substantially lower, in part reflected by a career low shooting percentage.

While questions about his age, his physical health, and his mental state are all predictable, because he is 38, came off a season that saw him nursing nagging injuries more than any other point in his career, and has had to bury his dad, deal with the sociopolitical fallout of Russia’s war on Ukraine, and watch his long time partner in crime nearly retire, there isn’t concrete evidence yet that it is any, or all, of those things. And, why it’s good for engagement clicks to speculate, it might not actually provide any meaningful direction on how to solve the problem .

Obviously, the complexion of the team has changed a lot since last season. New coaching could be a concern, if it weren’t for the fact over Ovi’s 18 seasons he’s worked with coaches of all stripes, from those with tonnes of experience to those with none. And, same with new players as Ovi’s played on the same line with quite the rotating cast of characters from forth line grinders to elite playmakers, from gristly vets to upstart youth, from burly enforcers to sleek skaters, and everyone in between. So, it’s difficult to image that either, or both, of those are reason alone for the massive drop off.

Ovi’s style of play has constantly progressed over the years, and while he can no longer single handedly carry the puck the full length of the ice and bull rush the defenses, he’s always had a unique knack for finding the soft spots in the defense from which to generate shots from and the last several year’s that ability to read the ice and just appear in those spots has played a major role in maintaining his scoring prowess. While he’s still a physical force to be reckoned he no longer runs around like a human wrecking ball leveling everyone in his path. And, while he still has the ability to accelerate with sneaky speed, his game has never really been driven by being fast either. 

So, what’s changed this season compared to the past 18 years of success? Well, comparing a 38 year old to a 22 year old probably doesn’t help a lot, but focusing on the last decade, covering the majority of his 30’s which is past-prime for the average player, and looking for some patterns across the Caps franchise and the League I felt like could be a good place to start. There’s probably a better way to represent this but it’s what I could pull up quickly as a comparison:

2022-23 — 42 Ovi Goals — 20+ goals 2 players — 10+ goals 10 players – 253 team goals
2022-23 — Vegas — 20+ goals 3 players — 10+ goals 10 players — 267 team goals
2022-23 — 40+ goals 19 players — 30+ goals 54 players — 20+ goals 129 players — Team Average 258

2021-22 — 50 Ovi Goals — 20+ goals 3 players — 10+ goals 10 players – 270 team goals
2021-22 — Avalanche — 20+ goals 7 players — 10+ goals 11 players — 308 team goals
2021-22 — 40+ goals 17 players — 30+ goals 51 players — 20+ goals 137 players — Team Average 255

2020-21 short season — 24 Ovi Goals — 20+ goals 2 players — 10+ goals 9 players — 188 team goals
2020-21 short season — Tampa Bay — 20+ goals 1 player — 10+ goals 7 players — 180 team goals
2020-21 short season — 40+ goals 1 player — 30+ goals 5 players — 20+ goals 40 players — Team average 261

2019-20 short season — 48 Ovi goals — 20+ goals 4 players — 10+ goals 8 players — 238 team goals
2019-20 short season — Tampa Bay — 20+ goals 4 players — 10+ goals 10 players — 243 team goals
2019-20 short season — 40+ goals 5 players — 30+ goals 17 players — 20+ goals 87 players — Team average 208

2018-19 — 51 Ovi Goals — 20+ goals 7 players — 10+ goals 10 players — 247 team goals
2018-19 — St Louis — 20+ goals 3 players — 10+ goals 13 players — 244 team goals
2018-19 — 40+ goals 13 players — 30+ goals 45 players — 20+ goals 122 players — Team average 244

2017-18 — 49 Ovi Goals — 20+ goals 3 players — 10+ goals 11 players — 256 team goals
2017-18 — 40+ goals 8 players — 30+ goals 32 players — 20+ goals 118 players — Team average 240

2016-17 — 33 Ovi Goals — 20+ goals 3 players — 10+ goals 11 players — 261 team goals
2016-17 — Pittsburgh — 20+ goals 5 players — 10+ goals 11 players — 278 team goals
2016-17 — 40+ goals 3 players — 30+ goals 26 players — 20+ goals 96 players — Team average 223

2015-16 — 50 Ovi Goals — 20+ goals 6 players — 10+ goals 8 players — 248 team goals
2015-16 — Pittsburg — 20+ goals 4 players — 10+ goals 8 players — 241 team goals

2014-15 — 53 Ovi Goals — 20+ goals 3 players — 10+ goals 10 players — 237 team goals
2014-15 — Chicago — 20+ goals 4 players — 10+ goals 10 players — 220 team goals

2013-14 — 51 Ovi Goals — 20+ goals 3 players — 10+ goals 8 players — 225 team goals
2013-14 — LAK — 20+ goals 2 players — 10+ goals 9 players — 198 team goals

2012-13 short season — 32 Ovi Goals — 20+ goals 1 player — 10+ goals 4 players — 146 team goals
2012-13 short season — Chicago — 20+ goals 2 players, 10+ goals 4 players — 149 team goals

My hypothesis was that perhaps there was a correlation between the lack of Capitals as a team scoring this season and Ovi’s lack of personal scoring. I was hoping to find some examples of the Caps underperforming on the ice when Ovi was also having down years as well. There wasn’t a clear cut example of the Caps struggling, but I did find there’s a few interesting outliers in this list in terms of scoring anomalies league wide that also affected Ovi:

2020-21 short season — 24 Ovi Goals — Middle of Lavy’s tenure as coach — team performance seems on part with their recent history — team performance is in line with the SC Champ — the difference maker here is the short season seemed to negatively affect Ovi’s output, as well as that of a number of other usually high scoring players, like Pasta, aho, Zibanejad, McKinnon, Eichel that were top ten the prior season fell as far, or further than Ovi. Most all of them recovered the next season pretty nicely too.

2016-17 — 33 Ovi Goals — Middle of Trotz tenure as coach — team performance seems on par with recent history – team performance lags the SC champs but Pitt was exceptionally dominant that season — the difference maker seems to be that overall scoring was lower than what it had been across the league, and even the league leader, Crosby, was below the high scoring of the prior and subsequent years, so Ovi wasn’t the only one affected, again

However, if we go back to Ovi’s younger years there is some evidence that his down seasons do, in fact, correlate with an underperformance by the Capitals as a team overall. Let’s look at those two most non-Ovi-esque experiences:

2011-12 Ovi only scored 33. However, the team only scraped together 218 which was dead on the league average, and while it’s above that season’s SC winner LAK who were notoriously low scoring, it’s below their usual conference peers. Chalk it up to Boudreau’s power shift to defense followed by Hunter Hockey. A lack of team scoring hurt Ovi albeit seemingly all by design.

2010-11 Ovi only scored 32. However, the team only pulled together 219 which was below the league average 224 and far below the SC champ Boston and the rest of their conference peers despite the Caps taking the SE division. A lack of team scoring hurt Ovi.

So, perhaps some of what we’re seeing here is a lack of depth scoring on the team hurting Ovi. Why might the fact that the rest of the team no scoring hurt Ovi? A couple of thoughts:

At evens, Ovi is always considered the primary threat. And, any line that Ovi is on is naturally going to be considered the First Line and garner the greatest attention. Like all primary scorers he will attract the top defensive pairing, with some teams even going out of their way to ensure that matchup. Furthermore, it’s not uncommon for primary scoring threats to attract specific forward matchups as well to try and neutralize the line, such as going power-for-power with first line matchups or leveraging a heavy checking forth line. It’s much easier to build a five man unit to neutralize the primary scoring threat when there is no secondary scoring to worry about. Even if the primary scoring threat might be in a slump, as Ovi seems to be, they are still the primary threat because no one wants to give the time and space for someone like Ovi to break out of the slump against them. And, that’s some of what we’ve seen for the first third of the season with oppositions continuing to focus their best defensive schemes against Ovi, allowing them to block lanes and directly challenge his shots, reducing his ability to do what he does best in finding defensive soft spots to exploit by allowing considerably fewer of them.

However, if the rest of the team is scoring, it would normally force the opposition to take into consideration how to counter those other scoring threats as well. There’s two primary ways to counter secondary scoring. 

One is to reduce those secondary threats. That might mean having to spread out your preferred defensive schema, which might break up that five player defensive unit they’d prefer to deploy against the primary scoring threat, or otherwise arrange your forwards and defensive pairings in ways that are more optimal to neutralize scoring across several lines. This, in theory, helps free up the primary scoring threat because it can create less optimal defensive schemes specific to them when the primary scoring threat are on the ice.  All in all this can help to wear down the opposition and provide a wide variety of scoring opportunities, especially since this less optimal personnel schema could allow the primary scorer just enough of an extra opportunity to score themselves, or create chances that put pressure on the opposition even if they don’t result in goals.

The other is for the opposition to score more themselves. In an effort to create greater offense of their own, the opposition could weaken their defensive schema, such that they might break up that five player defensive unit they’d prefer to deploy against the primary scoring threat, or otherwise arrange your forwards and defensive pairings in ways that are more optimal to generating more scoring opportunities across several lines. This, in theory, also helps free up the primary scoring threat because it can create less optimal defensive schemes specific to them when the primary scoring threat are on the ice because the opposition is more concerned with ensuring scoring chances themselves.

Of course, none of this happens in isolation. It’s rarely as simple building a team with three or four lines of consistent scoring and the opposition has no choice but to spread itself so thin that they can never neutralize it. But, it certainly helps take the pressure off the primary scoring threat when the scoring can happen deeper in the lineup. And, over the years Ovi has been adept at exploiting those weaker defensive schemas to create unique goal scoring opportunities. Waiting for those soft spots in the defense to manifest is one of Ovi’s signature moves. He can successfully drift into position behind defensive set ups that seem to have lost track of him on the ice, and then unloading on a rebound or a deft pass through an unexpected defensive block. However, when defenses don’t have to think about anyone else, they are less likely to forget about Ovi, and that extra coverage doesn’t provide as many of those sneaker sniper shots we are so used to seeing Ovi slip into. 

On the Power play, Ovi is also considered the primary threat, for obvious reasons too. And, typically you would expect the penalty kill schema to shade the primary scoring threat in a way to try and neutralize them. In the case of the Capitals 1-3-1 setup that find’s Ovi patrolling the entirety of the right side face off circle there’s two usual ways PKers would attempt to neutralize him – either take away his shot, or take away the primary passing lanes to feeding his shot. This is much easier to do if the rest of the Power Play doesn’t represent as much of a scoring threat because it allows the PK to line up in the most optimal positions to reduce access to Ovi. If the D on the point isn’t a threat to unload a bomb on the goalie, than the natural inclination is to assume that any puck to the point will be fed to Ovi making that pass easier to pick off. If the player on the half wall isn’t a threat to take a shot and create either a scoring chance themselves or for the players in the slot than the natural assumption is that any puck to the half wall will be cycled around to Ovi making it much easier to break up that as well. If the net front presence isn’t adept at being able to generate scoring chances either with deft tip ins or muscling it in the scrum than the defense doesn’t have to worry about doubling them up to avoid anything making it through to them which frees one defender to be aggressive on the PK. 

However, when you have non-Ovi scoring threats on the Power Play, it becomes much easier to leverage Ovi’s unique ability to lay in wait and then step into any puck that drifts his way and unleash his one timer. Defenders are more likely to be unaware as to where Ovi has drifted on the right side if their back is to him while they have to watch the puck move between other scoring threats. The PK is more likely to drift away from Ovi and give him more space to find those soft spots if he’s not their constant focus because he isn’t the only one shooting. And, when other players can score, the Caps can rotate their power play to temporarily drop Ovi down in front of the net, or up to the point, providing interesting new looks to the PK that are equally as difficult to stop Ovi on because he can muscle a puck into the net upfront, or unload a bomb from the point, when necessary. 

The problem both at-evens and on the Power Play then becomes self-perpetuating. If Ovi isn’t scoring it becomes more difficult for the rest of the team to score because the scoring engine of the team is Ovi. Beyond just the player deployments and defensive schemas that happen around Ovi scoring, there’s a psychological element too. Oppositions have to feel more confident and more poised when they are effectively neutralizing Ovechkin, while Ovi’s own players might not feel the same confidence and motivation if their captain, and the generational force of nature scoring machine suddenly stops churning out goals for a couple of periods, or a couple of games, or now, for a couple of months.

One way to snap out of that rut is, of course get Ovi scoring. Feed him more pucks. Give him more minutes. But there’s a limited effectiveness to that strategy over time, as it becomes more predictable and the team, and Ovi, becomes more desparate.

The other way is to score more as a team which should loosen up the opposition’s strangle hold on Ovi’s line and let Ovi step forward to do more Ovi things. 

It would be truly interesting to dig deeper into the analysis to look at how the coaching systems might have played a role in distributing things like time on ice and zone starts across the team, the distribution of even strength to power play goals, and so on, and then compare and contrast it to some of the recent good seasons, along with the small sample size available for this season so far, but I don’t have the time to pull the data or the knowledge to really break it down in a meaningful way. 

Another interesting thing about those dates above is how they align to different sticks that Ovechkin’s used over the years moving primarily between CCM and Bauer. I don’t have a complete list of Ovi’s stick usage over the years and a quick internet search didn’t really turn up much of an inventory to go on but there are some interesting artifacts in his endorsement deals to consider. 

Former Caps Coach Boudreau has mentioned in a number of interviews he noticed a change in Ovechkin’s performance when he changed sticks. Back during the 2010-11 season Ovechkin created a controversy by using Bauer sticks spray painted in CCM colors, before switching endorsement from CCM to Bauer before the start of the 2011-12 seasons. The timing of the move away from CCM, which had been the stick he’d scored with for three straight 50 goal seasons, including the 07-08 65 goal explosion seems to fit into Boudreau’s narrative. Especially knowing that Ovi was using Bauer prior to formally making the switch.  

Maybe it took some time to find the right Bauer setup, because Ovi put up three consecutive 50 goal seasons through the middle of the deal, primarily using the same Bauer gear through. Apparently, Ovi began experimenting with sticks again at the end of the deal and in 2016-17 to close out the Bauer endorsement deal and only posted 33 goals. Interestingly, it was during that time Trotz made a series of comments about Ovi’s performance, and while most of it seemed directed at his predecessors predilection to micromanaging players and their equipment, staking a difference in his approach to helping players succeed, there were some remarks that could be taken to mean Ovi was struggling with equipment again.

Of course, Ovi switched back to CCM in 2017-18, Ovi rebounded with 49 goals to take the Rocket, the team won the Cup on the back of Ovi’s 17 goal Conn Smythe performance and all was right with the world. Even through the chaotic pandemic seasons Ovi was scoring. And, for most of that time it was supposedly the Super Tacks modle dressed up as a RibCor Trigger to better show off the CCM brand (those bright white letters are hard to miss)

That is, until last season when CCM decided to de-brand itself from Ovechkin due to Putin’s invasion of the Ukraine and Ovi seemed to switch his setup in 2022.While the subsequent 2022-23 was mostly the CCM JetSpeed helping produce 42 goals it was off from his prior 50 goal/season pace. While it’s easy to potentially write the slightly lower goal total off to any number of possible reasons, the change in sticks drew at least some attention of Laviolette who’s made passing remarks about Ovi’s equipment experiments, which, while not critical, or even the focus on the interviews reflecting on his time as Caps coach, seem to also fit the narrative that the stick makes a difference. 

Lately, Ovi’s been seen using three different CCM models in rotation along with the Bauer Vapor.  Perhaps there’s a correlation between the not having a comfortable go-to stick and his goal scoring performance this season considering the correlative trend that can be seen in prior changes in his stick. 

While I cannot say for sure, Holty talked about the uniqueness of Ovi’s shot quite a bit it while he was still with the Caps, plus you can find quotes from the likes of Quick, Valiseksy, Bishop, Brodeur, Rask, Murray and even defenders like McDonagh and Chara talk about the movement on Ovi’s shots. The stress that they all make isn’t that the shot is fast, although coming in at 95+ mph is certainly a part of it, but that at a distance the puck itself appears to move unpredictably, the trajectory appears to change over the course of flight because the puck itself is moving with a wobble or a flutter. It’s the illusion that movement of the puck being unbalanced in flight that seems to cause goalies to think the shot looks like it’s sinking while it’s still actually rising, or the illusion that it’s moving left to right even though it’s actually coming in true. It’s been described as a knuckle puck kind of movement similar to the chaotic float of the baseball pitch and commanding that has been a huge part of Ovi’s game when it comes to scoring goals from places that are otherwise considered lower danger shots. It’s much harder to square up on a puck that doesn’t act like you expect it to because you cannot see the puck’s true trajectory when it’s dancing around on you all the way in and that’s what I remember a bunch of analysts and goalie coaches talking about in making it difficult to track Ovi’s shots in general, not just the goalies themselves talking about how to stop it.

I would assume a substantial part of creating that kind of knuckling movement probably comes from the stick, some version of the curve of the blade, and flex of the shaft, where Ovi can manipulate how the puck lifts off the ice with that wobbly appearance but have enough behind it to keep it true to the opening in the net he’s targeting. Which would make sense that if the curve of the blade or flex of the stick is behaving different he might not maintain that same level of control in either creating the wobble or keeping the wobble true to the open space that goalies were so fearful of in the past since they all seem to talk about that more than the speed of the shot itself.

Anyway, it’s really disconcerting that Ovi’s not scoring with any kind of aggression these days. The hope he could challenge Gretzky fades with every game that a goal doesn’t happen because it makes the hill to climb in subsequent seasons that much more difficult. 

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9-11-21: Twenty Years Later

I have dreaded today in the back of my mind for weeks, months even…

September 11, 2001 was one of the single most difficult days of my life, and admittedly I didn’t even have it all that bad compared to many. But as a Jersey resident working directly across the river from World Trade and frequent commuter into downtown Manhattan who’s soon-to-be wife and many friends worked and studied there as part of their daily routines the sudden jolt of watching everything unfold in front of me in real time was a lot to take in. The subsequent days, weeks, months, and even years that it took life to unfold back to a ‘new normal’ represented emotional and physical challenges I still cannot fully put into words all these years later

In an all too cliche way, NYC’s music scene captured this sentiment before it happened because in an all too real way, that’s what being a tri-stater has always been about:

These eyes have seen inhuman sights
I hold my breath with all my might
Like anyone else in our own hells
It seems obscene, the things I’ve seen
I hold my breath with all my might
These eyes have seen inhuman sights

Biohazard, “These Eyes”

The sugar coated patriotism that has occurred on each anniversary of the event disgusts me.

We were a divided nation back then.

And this bullshit notion that we came together then, therefore need to continue to pretend to also come together again for one day a year bothers me almost as much as all the tortured memories of that day. I hate, hate, hate the misrepresentation of the moment and every year I get more fed up by the gaslighting as I become more and more aware of what recovery from the tragedy means to me.

For those of you who are more accustomed to some semblance of eloquence, I ask for your patience in advance as this post will certainly be an open meandering thoughsplatter and not a train on rails to a destination.

The dot-com boom-and-bust created an enormous schism in the economy between the haves and have nots that many of the underprivileged never recovered from during the subsequent economic expansion during the housing bubble. This was underscored by the reaction to the Y2K bug threat and dramatic differences in how different parts of the population were able to prepare.

Then there was the “recovery” from the Newt Gingrich lead scorched earth political landscape created out of a parallel anit-RINO movement of American Conservatism and the partisan politricking that turned the Whitewater Investigation into an infidelity scandal designed not just to discredit the Clintons but take down the Democratic Party.

Finally, there were still the lingering effects of social injustice that came to a head a decade before with the brutality inflicted on Rodney King by the LAPD and were resurfaced by the NYPD’s assault on Amadou Diallo and Philadelphia PD’s attack on Thomas Jones, as well as string of high profile LGBT assaults and murders that were mishandled by the police at a time when LBGT oppression was beginning to be challenged after a decade of draconian anti-LGBT laws were passed.

9-11 looked, from the perspective of red-white-and-blue tinted glasses, like the coming together of a nation struggling to deal with those turbulent, and long running issues. And, for a brief-and-fleeting moment it very well may have felt that way for many, if not most, Americans.

The reality though, is that didn’t last long.

We, as a diverse people naturally re-sorted ourselves into nice little niches once again and probably much more quickly than we are willing to admit.

Conservative ruralites quickly went back to hating on their liberal urban counterparts.

Whites quickly went back to hating on black and brown people, particularly those of non-Christian beliefs and North African, Middle-Eastern or Indian sub-continent ethnicities.

The wealthy quickly went back to hating on the homeless, jobless and downtrodden.

The national goodwill toward the Tri-State Metro of NYC/NN/CT and the DMV of DC/MD/NoVA quickly dissolved into partisan hackery in Congress where conservatives sought to bypass recovery funds to those liberal metro regions in order to pad the aid to annual southern and midwestern natural disaster events, and reallocate anti-terrorism funds to middle-of-nowhere mid-west and southern ruralities that could never be viable targets of international terror in the first place cutting off those desperately needed infrastructure funds to those urban economic centers.

Meanwhile, those empowered by this false sense of patriotism ignorantly attacked non-whites in vigilante fashion, including mistaking Sikhs and Jews for Muslims who, in their minds had become public enemy #1. Ethnic cultural centers and religious institutions, especially mosques, became targets not only for conservative hate groups by by the local and federal policing institutions. And, cancel culture became all the rage on the right in an attempt to relocate anyone or anything perceived to be Islamic or Middle Eastern, including stopping the construction of a long planned mosque in lower Manhattan led, in part, by a bunch of out-of-staters who had no real interest in New York itself.

The entirety of the war on terrorism was distilled down to stupid and predictable cliches that ignored the complexity of the region. Lies about terrorist outposts in Afghanistan covered up the reality that many of the terrorists were Saudi nationals trained through what were likely decades old US-fed anti-communism programs to counterbalance the USSR’s attempts at influence in the region after WWII. Lies about weapons of mass destruction in Iraq perpetuated the Bush family feud with Sadam Hussein.

And, the complexity of the situation over the subsequent years on became exacerbated by the continual funding a corrupt Saudi government, the collapse of Syria’s government into a multinational civil war, the authoritarian takeover of Turkey complicating their relationship as a NATO ally, Bibi’s hard right swing in authoring Israeli politics, the Arab Spring movement particularly in Egypt, the Russian reassertion of power after a nearly 20 year sabbatical due to the collapse of the USSR, and more. Much of which was misrepresented not just to the general US population but even within the intelligence community there appears to have been some whitewashing and gaslighting that blurred the approach and probably made bad situations worse while simultaneously padding too many contractors pockets.

Ultimately, out of this sense of “patriotism” came an Us-versus-Them mentality. The United States versus the Terrorists.

But who were the Americans?

Who were the Terrorists?

It wasn’t as easy to distinguish as what we might have been led to believe. How is it one minute someone with a US citizenship can be American and can hold a candle in unity mourning the loss of life and human innocence in the immediate aftermath of the tragedy but the next day because they happen to have a non-Christian belief, or live in a big city, or have a non-European heritage, they suddenly are less American and targets of vitriol and hate?

Ironically, compared to so-called mask mandates and mandatory vaccines in which faux-patriots fiend oppression, the actual liberty and freedoms stripped from everyone under the Patriot Act and a half dozen other regulatory controls put in place in the wake of 9-11 and twenty years later remain fixtures in our daily lives remain downright frightening yet all too often overlooked even by those most negatively affected by them. Citizens, in an attempt to protect themselves, ceded their identity and became, in principle, potential enemies of the state itself.

The paranoia that 9-11 fostered was WAY more effective in dividing us than the terrorist act was in unifying us but we were sold a bill of lies in the days, weeks, and months after that has become part of the collective conscious similar to the lies we tell ourselves about other aspects of American mythology like Christopher Columbus discovering America, the Pilgrims and Native Americans at the First Thanksgiving, Washington with rag-tag volunteers single handedly defeating the Red Coats, Honest Abe and the Golden Apple, and dozes of other tall tales and patriotic folklore barely rooted in reality.

I was here in New Jersey and experienced both the absolute best, and worst, of humanity in those first few years. I recall some of the most selfless acts of kindness among strangers coming together to overcome immeasurable odds. I recall some pretty awful moments as well, things its taken me years to come to terms with an become willing and able to talk about, including things that were said and done to be because of ignorant misconceptions by my own ‘neighbors’ in North Jersey at the time.

Twenty years later and as a nation we’ve literally learned nothing.

We’re still bickering about the same shit we were then.

There’s still aweful police brutality.

There’s still an enormous wealth inequaltiy.

There’s still outragous anti-LGBT sentiment.

There’s even more middle eastern xenophobia and islamophobia now than there had been then

There’s even an entirely new level of partisan politricking about Afghanistan, and Iraq, and a half dozen other countries in the Middle East that’s rooted in antagonistic domestic idealism instead of a wholistic understanding of the complexities of the region itself.

And, there’s still a bunch of facist-leaning murikkkanz that would just as soon let 9-11 happen again if it meant one fewer libtard for them to have to deal with, thus reinforcing 9-11 unity is just a lie we tell ourselves about what patriotism really means.

Truly breaks my heart as a survivor to experience how it has been commoditized. To see it coopted. To find it repackaged and remarketed.

I’m still not OK from having witnessed it. From dealing with the near misses and close encounters among family and friends. From living and working and going to school in and around the shadow of ground zero in the immediate aftermath and throughout the twenty years since constantly being triggered by the sights, sounds, smells and inexplainable ‘feelings’ that go with it. And, I’m not going to get any better by being gaslit about what that experience was by those who want to drape a flag over it and call it their own from a distance.

I honestly just want to crawl under the covers today and avoid the pom and circumstance that will surround the 20th anniversary because as a country we didn’t take the good parts of the aftermath of 9-11 and exemplify that as a foundation to rebuild upon so we could celebrate the achievement of lasting unity as a United States despite how much of the memoralizing will be positioned. No, instead, we allowed the ill aspects of that experience to fester creating two long, exhausting and fruitless wars, a deterioration of our civil liberties, a further fostering of our racist and xenophobic undertones, and a widening political divide built upon the perception that the other party is ironically less-American (whatever the fuck they each incorrectly defines being American in the first place.)

Forgive me if I sound jaded and unappreciative, but this is MY reality and I am NOT wrong for feeling this way. Two decades of bullshit surrounding 9-11 helped create this notion that makes me feel hurt, and angry, and fearful well beyond the original hurt, anger, and fear I initially experienced.

I’ll look back and recall fondly those few moments of coming together. The candle light vigils in the courtyard of the apartment complex I lived in. Seeing the original beams of light from a side road overlooking the meadowland’s swamp. Attending the delayed CMJ conference and working with the Firefighters across the street from one of the venues we were presenting at. Riding the PATH train through the Pit for the fist time when those tracks first reopened on the way to class.

But, I am now much more capable of also looking back and recalling those terrible moments of the United States tearing itself apart at the seams at the exact same time.

It is possible for an event to have two, or more, experiences attached to it and we would do well as a nation to allow the duality of what 9-11 was to exist in both being a shining example of what unity looked like to some while also concurrently being an absolute low point in division among our citizenry and within our humanity. Until we can come to terms with that notion we are not only lying to ourselves we are doing a disservice and injustice to those who lost their lives that day and over the course of the days, weeks, months and years since. We cannot continue to perpetuate the discontinuity of what it means to be American, and moreso what it means to be human, by treating 9-11 with a false sense of unity and fellowship when the reality was there definitely was not then and does not continue to be liberty and justice for all…

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WFH WTF: The Covid Files, year two: the end is nigh

Look. I know it’s over. You know it’s over. But, technically, it’s not over, the paychecks are still supposedly rolling in, so why not continue the fun another day, or two, or week, or more.

For the record, I HATE being unemployed.

It sucks for a whole host of reasons, not the least of which is the hiring bias associated with being unemployed you are forced to reckon with.

Seriously. I actually documented aspects of this last time in a spread sheet just to be sure I wasn’t crazy after feeling like this was the case in prior experiences and lo-and-behold patterns emerged. Poaching willing employees almost seems preferable to taking someone off the unemployment line in much the same way that dating someone already in an existing relationship. It’s almost like despite the infidelity they represent a proven commodity, which to any sane and rational person sounds completely idiotic but continues to be a prevalent rationalization, nonetheless.

So, despite my impending ending, I am approaching the first portion of the job search with the half-truth of having a job. After all, there’s still one last breath of hope with my current company that could work out in a future paycheck despite otherwise knowing the end is nigh.

What does this bias look like?

Well, for one, there’s this tentative ask to confirm I’m still employed. It’s coy and more in tone than phrasing per se in how they approach it and the sense of relief they seem to have when I say I’m still employed.

The next logical question is when can I be available or how much notice will I have to provide should an offer be made. That’s when I test if disclosing my hand would mean anything by turning the question back on them about how long the process will take or when they expect they could have a competitive offer prepared, etc. and compare that to the types of responses I receive if I say that the impending downsizing seems inevitable but unconfirmed at this time, compared to those who I might disclose my availability as being immediate because I’ve worked out a solution with my current employer such that they want me to be successful in my next opportunity. The responses, of course, vary based on each company’s own cultures, and the fact that there isn’t a true control to compare against, but as a trend, the most receptive companies are the ones who thing they are poaching, the next most responsive are those sympathetic to the possibility of my being released but where they still seem to think there’s a value in poaching, finally followed by those who figure they’re getting me before I hit the open market being unemployed but don’t seem nearly as excited about the conversations as those who think they’re poaching me outright.

When I’ve said I’m unemployed in the past it’s completely changed the tone of the conversations from optimism to skepticism. Comparatively, if I have a job but simply imply I might be downsized the conversation immediately pivots to if my skills are transferable to this new role, but if I disclose I don’t have a job but was previously downsized out, there’s a range of follow up questions that are designed to tease out the specifics of if it was an amicable departure and my perception the rationelle for letting me going, to the point where it sucks up precious minutes that could be better spent defining my skills against the company’s needs. To call it counter productive for both of us is an understatement, yet this dance that happens to the unemployed insinuating they should remain unemployable absolutely exists.

What’s more, is that it’s especially poignant in economic downturns.

My parents began their lives and subsequently their careers during the massive economic expansion in the US during the golden years post-world war II. The ramp up of the nation’s industry during the war to supply the war was converted to accommodating a new international landscape. First, Europe’s economies were decimated from having fought two massive land wars inside of 30 years and Asia, particularly Japan, was decimated from WWII as well. The US not only faced no major international competition for its goods and services, it was, in essence, the only remaining provider for many of those things for several years after the war across the world. The head start American goods and services had on their European and Asian counterparts to begin the second half of the last century was immense. Combine that with the baby boom and suburban sprawl that occurred when American soldiers returned from the war which provoked massive consumerism and, of course, the US economy not only exploded, but was sustained for the better part the next 30 years.

The first real taste of national economic (dis)stress they experienced didn’t arrive till the mid 70s “stagflation” as a convergence of insanely corrupt domestic politics (hello Nixon) with massive shifts in international economics undermined the mirage of American might. The failings of the Viet nam war, the rise of OPEC’s power, the effects of European and Asian economies having finally recovered post-war were only part of the problem the US was facing at the time.

A veneer of economic success under the early Reagan administration helped drag the US out of the 1970s doldrums. It didn’t last long. Conservative economic policy helped undermine the middle class as well as to destabilize many of the safety nets that held up much of business at the time. By the end of the decade another economic travesty hit, led in part by the S&L scandal.

From there the economic failures continue at a frenetic pace while the recoveries become slower and less inclusive.

While the recovery during the Clinton administration, which really didn’t pick up till mid-decade, was lauded at the time, it was not without problems. The massive economic expansion, aided by the government, helped overheat several markets while nothing was really done to help middle class labor which continued to erode and there were as many programs that inherently hurt the poor as there were to help.

The boom lasted less than a decade. A combination of Y2K hysteria, the dot-com bubble burst and the 9-11 terror attacks essentially destroyed much of what was created for growth in the latter half of the 90s in only a couple of years.

Less than a decade from the initiation of the dot-com bust, and without having definitively demonstrated it’s actual recovery, the housing bubble collapsed crafting an economic incisement in which the haves recovered but the have nots did not continued for what seemed like almost a decade, to the point where for three consecutive presidential elections (2008, 2012 and 2016) middle class and working class recovery was a focal point of debate that is still philosophically underpinning our latest economic threat, the global Covid-19 pandemic.

Baby Boomers complain about economic instability, but they inherited economic stability from 1945 until about the mid-to-late-1970s, or about 30 years and collectively turned it into a 30 year fiasco of uneveness that began in the late 80s and continues to present date. This has left the Millennials and Zoomers at a severe disadvantage compared to their parents and grandparents while late Gen Xers like myself continue to struggle against headwinds our parents and many of our bosses still cannot fathom despite the supposed headstart we have on our younger peers.

I bring this up because it too plays a functional role in how I am perceived in the marketplace of jobs.

When you’re involved in unemployment during an upswing everyone just assumes, it seems, you’ll be pulled into the upswing too, so the focus is less on your past and more on your future, as if there’s this false assumption that you have something to offer the future because everyone is thinking these bright happy thoughts. But, when you’re laid off on the downturn, you get caught in the downturn cycle as if you are a personal contributor to it and are to blame for it, so you aren’t given the same kind of credibility for your skills no matter how amazing they are, as if, if they were so amazing you couldn’t’ve been downsized or laid off in the first place.

Then there’s some wackass age perception bias that isn’t actually based on physical age as much as it is some stereoptype about your overarching generational appeal: If I present too old I am considered, in my field, outdated if I am unemployed, as if to say I have an inability to keep up with the times despite continuing to negotiate my career successfully through the worst of them. If I present too young I am considered not seasoned enough to deal with the headwinds that continue to present in the marketplace. Yet, because of the constant turbulence over the last 20 or so years in the wake of the dot-com/Y2K/9-11 trifecta of shit no one has any fucking idea of how the hell to evaluate anyone’s career, not the least of which those who’s careers were birthed out of that nonsense.

So, here I am spinning a ball of yarn about tying together this and that, one thing and another, in an attempt to explain my very normal career trajectory to a vast majority of people who still seem to have this unrealistic notion of extremes when evaluating employability in what otherwise seems like a feeble attempt at leveraging their biases as such despite there being literally zero replicable proof the employability stereotypes hold true in the real world.

In the end, I’m either going to fulfil your open position, or I’m not. But, my current state of employment is not one of the defining factors in how that will occur.

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WFH WTF: The Covid Files, year two: the end is here

No, not the end of the Pandemic.

It’s the end of Work From Home What the Fuck once again.

No, I’m not returning to the office.

I’ve been downsized out of my position as the company I was with the last two years pivots away from what I’ve been doing and onto other priorities. As far as I was told, it wasn’t about any of my personal performance in the position but, rather, the convergence of a number of factors both external and internal which found not only the division I was working pivoting but a large part of the company making similar moves due to shifts in the competitive landscape, continuing headwinds from Covid economics, and new opportunities from adjoining revenue streams.

It’s been an interesting two years, to say the least.

The initial purpose in joining the company was to have a dedicated resource focus on the subscription product which had been neglected for a number of months and prior was, from my understanding, just a pet project of upper management that was spun up as an aside to the display advertising business on the site. It took me a couple of months to evaluate where the product was at, propose some opportunities, roadmap and spec out the accepted changes by management and the board and then get started on the release process with the designers and developers.

It was really exciting to have complete ownership of the revenue stream and I believed at the time this was the exact challenge I needed at this point in my career. There were definitely at lot of challenges early on, but for a new ‘department’ trying to completely redefine a product no one other than me had experience with much of that was to be expected and people seemed genuinely interested in learning and building with me.

No sooner did it seem like we had everything underway and Covid hit completely upending the subscription product’s performance.

It’s taken me several weeks to come to terms with the fact that this wasn’t my fault and be mostly OK with the results having done the best I could with the circumstances at hand. But, honestly there’s still a part of me that feels like I was a failure because I didn’t make it work.

Prior to my taking over, subscriber growth was upside down, underwarter and otherwise ass backwards, meaning there was greater churn than acquisition, thus the base was deteriorating, and the trend had predated the seasonality of the slow summer I joined after. The existing “test,” if you could call it that, was an ad-supported experience with voluntary subscription for ad-free versus an access paywall that forced the subscription for access with the addition of ad-free. Both versions of the experience had problems, but it there was a bit of a philosophical decision regarding product branding influencing dropping the paywall restriction influencing the decision process as well as the negativity we saw in the numbers.

Dropping the paywall almost immediately crushed acquisition, as was expected, because passively asking consumers to go ad-free wasn’t going to drive enough users into the funnel compared to forcing them there with the paywall. This was partially offset because the voluntary opt-in customers that already were in the base had longer lifetimes and lower voluntary churn which we hoped would scale with it’s application to the entire customer base. The theory was we could then improve upon the offer, making it more robust than just a basic play ad-free experience to provide a greater incentive for acquisition and a better reason to continue renewing.

In practice this was true, retention did improve, in part, due to improvements in the subscription product. However, we spent nearly a year testing on-site messaging touchpoints, browser push and social messaging, sign up flow design, and produced a half dozen new features enhancements for subscribers along with the usual price and positioning tests and never found the right combination to truly scale the acquisition performance. Tweaks here and there were able to improve the overall site visitor conversion to paid, but there were several underlying issues with the site’s typical visitor base’s convertibility that were exacerbated by the erratic site volume experienced due to Covid.

At one point we pivoted some of the features from strictly subscription driven to unlock via incentivized advertising which did help marginally improve revenue. However, scaling the watch-to-unlock experience proved tricky both in optimizing our ad partner and committing internal resources to develop out the custom unlock experience against other priorities, especially traffic recovery due to Covid, the shutdown of Flash, changes in Google’s search, and more.

In the meantime, improved customer communications specifically targeting churn supplemented the retention efforts and produced some fantastic results including a nine month reduction in care complaints and a lifetime value that more than doubled for the monthly subscription (at one point it was running nearly 3x for nearly six straight months).

However, the reality of trying to market the subscription product to a core visitor base where the primary consumer might not be the paying customer were greater than we could overcome when faced regulatory challenges around COPPA (and to a lesser degree CCPA, GDRP and others) that limited the type of data we could collect, how we could market with it to provide product personalization especially during the acquisition phase, and even how we could analyze our users overal;.

At some point, generic, untargeted messaging to unsegmented organic users will hit a conversion wall and we got there rather quickly at each phase of testing. This meant that there was a lack of sustained new user growth to the point where although an equilibrium was eventually reached with churn such that the base was no longer rapidly deteriorating, it also wasn’t really growing in a meaningful way either. I brought this sad reality to my CEO, who brought my analysis to the board and we all decided the subscription wasn’t working and it was time to move on.

Thankfully, my CEO and the board all agreed it was not for lack of performance on my part. Everyone seemed somewhat satisficed with the process even if the results fell short. They agreed to shift my role in the company to a new product they wanted to test. There were only a handful of competitors in the market but none covered the niche that our existing product line appeared to overlap with and the company wanted to investigate potential viability to enter into the space

To be honest, the structure of my employment from here on out was a bit chaotic and perhaps in light of that I should have been more valiant in my effort to secure a new source of income, but I really liked working for the company on the whole and had hopes for where I was being shuffled to next.

The product was truly in a proof-of-concept MVP phase and while it was a good idea in theory progress was stifled by resourcing shortfalls as well as internal disagreements about the definition of the product and it’s positioning. Despite these issues, I was able to provide a foundation for testing price and positioning over the course of a couple of months that proved the initial hypothesis about market viability. Unfortunately, for me, the company moved quickly to purchase a competitor who was better positioned to move us into the space than further building out the MVP I was working on so my part of the project was shuttered.

From there I was offered the opportunity to consult with another division in the company on their subscription product. They had not intended on hiring a subscription product manager but potentially could have open headcount in the budget in the second half of the year if the opportunity worked out. As you can guess, it didn’t.

Their subscription product had largely been ignored over the previous year due to resources being dedicated to a site reconfiguration and the effects of Covid. When I came in it wasn’t clear what their goal for consumer subscriptions was, since they were in parallel working on creating an enterprise product, a transactions a la carte purchasing product, and testing investing in paid acquisition as a traffic driver to supplement their eroding organic traffic which would, at a minimum, support the display ad portion of the business.

Evaluating their business against the competitive landscape, their own internal analytics, and the existing budget to set a short term roadmap centered around developing a series of reporting upgrades, feature enhancements, price and positioning tests, marcom improvements and more was a lot of fun. Establishing the competitive benchmarks, soliciting user feedback and evaluating the new data we were collecting and then write the project specs for each roadmap component and then seeing them through production and release with the different teams involved was a fantastic challenge not dissimilar to why I’d joined the company originally.

Alas, my consultancy with them was designed to be temporary and even though it felt like we made good progress in a relatively short period of time there was no realistic way they could keep me on board.

Then the disappointment of the reality I was being let go really set in. Everyone I worked with kept emphasizing they liked working with me and that this wasn’t a reflection of my skills. They would say they learned a lot from me and were impressed with my knowledge and ideas. Many have offered to provide recs for me as I move on. Yet, it’s been really difficult to internalize those compliments against the backdrop of not actually having a job anymore.

I’m not sure what it means for me moving forward.

While this isn’t the first time in my career I’ve been downsized, it’s one of the tougher ones to come to terms with because it’s one of the rare times I didn’t accomplish the goals I set forth with for myself when I took the job.

I expected I would come away having improved my knowledge of product management and marketing from completely owning the profit side of P&L. I wanted to set OKRs and budgets and then best them. I wanted to successfully grow a revenue stream of my own instead of merely being support to someone else’s vision.

Instead, I figured out how the loss side of P&L works. I miss forecast budgets and then missed hitting them while the OKRs ended up out of wack half the time. And, every explanation I have for it feels much more like excuse making than anything else leaving me feeling half the time like an imposter despite my years of education and experience in product and marketing.

Perhaps I am being too hard on myself. A combination of unrealistic expectations and insurmountable challenges from forces well beyond my, or the company’s, control ultimately did it in. And, failure to support a hypothesis is ALWAYS an option. The company, not just me, bet on subscriptions potentially working. It’s not like they’re replacing me with someone else to take over subscriptions, they are pivoting from them, having come to the same conclusion I did reviewing all the available data, not just for my original division but across large parts of the entire company.

So, now the search is on… where do I go next

What I’m listening to:

Actually, the air has been pretty quiet as of late.

Spinning on vinyl: King Cole on the Piano, the 10″ 33 RPM pressing that has been sitting out next to the record player for ages turns out to be a great, relaxing listen that calms even the craziest of padawan at times

Watching on YouTube: the Maiden videos, including some live performances, inspired by the padawan’s infatuation with the recent release of “the Writing on the Wall” and it’s my all time fave band while doesn’t hurt

CD: High on Fire, particularly the “Blessed Black Wings” promo EP because that wall of sound thunder they produce helped make me feel infinitely better

Digital: Ministry, the whole catalog of on shuffle, but I’d be remiss to not admit it almost always beings with something crushing from Psalm 69 because if that driving pulse doesn’t corse through your veins as Uncle Al lays it down maybe nothing will

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