It’s been several months since MPH aired with any regularity.
There’s a number of reasons for this if I’m being honest.
First, and foremost, I cannot stress enough the psychoemotional impact of having lost my father had on me. As many times as I’ve written about it I’ve still not come to terms with the impact. On myself. On this household. On my family. And, even among my friends.
Second, the stress of having everyone home for months on end, 24 hours a day each and every day with no escape. We took the shelter in place to heart. We avoided the inundation of those who didn’t to our favorite scenic abodes. And, we struggled mightily to come to terms with what a seeming unending proximity to one another meant. It was tough being a father, a caretaker, a teacher, a breadwinner and my own person when there was not a moment to contemplate the meaning of each – forget about doing any of them well.
Third, as I’d mentioned before, I began to pivot away from the show in 2018 and the uninspired way in which I felt I’d began producing shows back then continued to the point where I felt it was forced for the sake of just producing something that resembled anything. I joked in that post that I only had three listeners left, but that wasn’t necessarily an untruth. Many of my friends and family had long stopped listening to the show at that point. For a number of other reasons, station listenership tailed off as did the DJ hosted shows. MPH became an “oasis” over weekends that eventually consisted mostly of pre-programmed playlists having lost three fellow shows on Sunday alone that contributed to ongoing listenership.
Further to all that, the station struggled through a crashed server, an attempted Proud Boy coup, another server incapacitation, and a massive upheaval in leadership which landed me, of all people, into an Operations Manager role that although I am qualified for honestly was more than I could handle considering where I am personally today. The rest of the revised “board” felt increasingly disengaged for their own personal reasons. As a result, the station lacks a defining goal and thus lacks direction and oversight necessary for it to get back to it’s glorious roots. Never mind having lost so much of it’s core listener base from years of issues and what now feels like a form of neglect for lack of a better term there just isn’t the support to tap off of.
My final show on KAOS, for now, was the Jersey centric #MetropolitianPeoplesHell in July. Prior to that, it was #MakinPopsHappy several weeks earlier in mid-June. And, it was several weeks earlier in May when I was attempting to realize a bunch of emotional insights through music in a quite haphazard way.
I’d decided as part of my birthday gift to myself I would reclaim my own spiritual creativity. I love the radio show
I missed falling down the rabbit hole of research trying to unearth all the important stuff related to the show theme in cultural ongoings and historical interpretations.
I missed looking up the different non-for-profits and learning about their unique missions and relevance.
I missed both discovering all the new music and rediscovering all the long archived gems that are repurposed as classics on the airwaves.
Ultimately, I missed combining the three concepts of music, philanthropy and history to fulfill my mission to make metal radio smart on a weekly basis.
I inquired about moving the show from Austin’s KAOS to bringing the show more “local” with Connecticut’s Cygnus a while back to no avail. The timing wasn’t right for anyone involved. However, this time, there was something to be had.
Cygnus has a unique background in supporting the underground that dates back to the early days of internet streaming not unlike KAOS. It was a natural draw. As was the fact that both stations are freeform, old school block programming. Something important to me because the show is more than just it’s sonically metal routes.
Thus, I made the transition. Not because I lost faith in KAOS, but because I found invigoration in the Cygnus family that included several shows I currently listen to on a regular basis and provided me with inspiration I was sorely lacking in becoming overwhelmed with the responsibility of KAOS. It was the step back that allowed me to take the step forward to get MPH back on the air.
Granted, it is only a single show old, but I am proud to call the revival show also my annual birthday show – one in which the barrier to entry is pretty low, all things considered.
As your take your musical jaunt, think about the themes embedded in the theme, such as the fact that there are themes inset to themes throughout. Look at set two and four for such a layering as just one example.
#MousePresentsHeavy is volume 1 of MPH: Music Philanthropy and History in the Mosh Pit Hell of Metal Punk and Hardcore on Cygus Radio, Old School Free Form Programming. The annual birthday episode manipulates people’s heads Friday 18 September beginning 22:00 USEDT from the Isle of Misfit toys with the doormouse, dmf.
Tune in to #MousePresentsHeavy for a celebration of the music that continues to make me metal. Nasty new numbers by Unleash the Archers, Sepultura, Vampire Squid, Gouge Away. Classic cranial crushers by Iron Maiden, Dream Theater, Blood Has Been Shed, Jesus Piece, Locked in a Vacancy, Pangea, Obscura, Origin, All for Nothing, Anomie, Bloodlined Calligraphy, Walls of Jericho, Ithaca. And, rippin requests for Opeth, Wrust, Death, Rolo Tomasi. Plus much more.
Learn about what inspires and influences the doormouse past and present as a percussionist, as a disc jockey, and as a music nerd and how it all ended up here on the show. Plus find out how to give the next generation of musicians and music fans the support they need during the pandemic from the National Association for Music Education (nafme).
MPH is making poseurs hip on your fav socnet, so use @MPHnoise to follow along and bring you best moves for the Friday Night Mosh!
— here are my show notes:
Iron Maiden “Powerslave” Powerslave (cue :14)
Unleash the Archers “Abyss” Abyss (2020) (cue :07) ***
Dream Theater “Pale Blue Dot” Distance Over Time (cue 1:07) !!!
Opeth “Deliverance” Deliverance
Sepultura “Isolation” Quadra (2020) (cue :35)
Blood Has Been Shed “And a Seraphim Cries” Novella of Uriel (long drop at ending)
Jesus Piece “Lucid” Only Self (watch intro)
Locked in a Vacancy “Mass Media Manipulation” It’s Always Darkest
Wurst “the Renegade” Soulless Machine
vampire squid “Barracuda Triangle” Reinventing the Eel (2020) (watch ending) Pangea “a Gateway to Nothing” Vespr
Obscura “the Anticosmos Overload” Cosmogenesis
Origin “Insurrection” Informis Infintas Inhumanitas
Death “to Forgive” the Sound of Perseverance
Gouge Away “Consider” CWM EP (2020) (watch long outro)
All for Nothing “Minds Awake Hearts Alive” MAHA (drum intro, hard ending)
Anomie “Indifference = mort” Anomie (hard intro)
Bloodlined Calligraphy “Know When to Hold Em” They Want You Silent
Walls of Jericho “No One Can Save You From Yourself” NOCSY (hard ending)
Ithaca “the Language of Injury” TLOI (hit early)
Rolo Tomasi “Whispers Among Us” Time Will Die & Love Will Bury It (watch ending for queue into showclose
I want you to note that some of the sets group together in more than just the sonic sub-genre they encompass. Take a look again at the second set of thrashy, metalcore influenced groove and you’ll see a common theme of Black fronted bands overlayed to it, while as you settle into the old-school circle pits of metallic hardcore punk in that fourth set you’ll also notice a common theme of Female fronted bands. See, for me, it’s not just that I love diversity that incorporating metal core and hardcore punk into prog-metal in that opening set, or techdeath in the third, it’s that I also love the diversity of humans that perform the music and while the genres are typically stereotyped as being young, cishet dudes, I’m specifically pointing there’s more to the ethnicity and gender of heavy music not because I want to especially showcase them, but because within their respective subgenres they are, in fact, some of the best at what they do which is why they are included here. I sincerely challenge anyone to tell me any of the bands like BHBS, Wrust, WOJ and Anomie aren’t essential contributors to their genres. Further to that, the show is about what “I” most listen to and enjoy and the music that is currently influencing me as an individual (fan of music, dj, performer, etc) and these are, in fact, some of the most important bands in my current rotation, which, it also just so happens that they are Black and Female fronted, which says a lot to the quality of what these bands have produced, because my digital music catalog is a terabyte deep and I have a low tolerance for garbage.
–what I ate–
I made popcorn on the stovetop. Completely old school with bagged, dried sweet corn kernels heated on an open natural gas flame in a frying pan with a hand held top.
I do this a lot by feel at this point, honestly.
The Analon 8″ French copper core, steel skillet holds about a serving of popcorn on its flat bottom. To that I add about an 1/16 stick pad of salted butter and a couple of table spoons of extra virgin olive oil along with whatever salt is in the handmill grinder and then toss to coat the kernels, the pan and the lid with the lipid combination over very low heat (to ensure the butter melts and combines with the oil).
I crank the heat to about 50% of what my stovetop BTU is, so it might be different for you. Typically takes about 5 minutes to get the pan up to temp where the first kernels begin to pop. I use a glove or small towel to help hold the lid down over the pan and give it a good shimmy or two to ensure the kernels get initial movement and then allow it to sit another minute for the popping to begin with vigor. From there I give it a quick shift/shake over the burner about every 20-30 seconds or so while there’s consistent popping which occurs over the next few minutes in order for the popper corn not to burn against the heat of the pan. As the popping cedes I increase the movement and create almost a tossing type of approach while holding the lid on, in order to ensure any unpopped kernels get a last chance of making it to the heat at the bottom.
I leave the pan off the heat on the stovetop for another minute once the popping rhythm ceases and i’ve done the final tosses before transferring the popcorn to a bowl. At that stage I do like to process some additional seasoning. Personally, I like Old Bay tossed on mine for that savory bite, but the family has taken a liking to PB2 Dried Powdered Peanut Butter which reminds me of my dad’s air popper when he’d drizzle Skippy and butter over it before serving, and I’ve not been unknown to also throw a little super fine brown sugar along with added finely fresh ground salt to give a kettle corn kind of sweet dusting to it.
WFH WTF, the Covid Files, Month 6: 19 Years
If I have to look at one more #NeverForget on social media today I’m going to scream.
I was there. I’m never going to forget the sights, the sounds and the smells of that day. Or the day after. Or the day after that. Or the week after that. Or month after that. Or year after that.
It affected every aspect of being from that day forward: Daily routines changed; Perspectives on life changed.
It is a burden I will carry for the rest of my life. And, I was what I would consider one of the fortunate ones witnessing it.
The 2,977 dead that day were all too real. The thousands more who lost their lives due to the subsequent physical or psychological toll of the attacks are all too real. The military members and innocent civilians who lost their life in the U.S. response to the attacks are all too real. The hundreds of thousands, likely millions, who are struggling still with the direct affects of all of this.
So, please, remind me what am I not supposed to forget?
The broad, authoritarian legacy of 115 Stat 2135 PL USA Patriot Act, or the even broader authoritarian legacy of 116 Stat 2135 PL 107-296 Homeland Security Act (HSA), or finally 118 Stat 3638 PL 108-458 Intelligence Reform and Terrorism Prevention Act of 2004 (IRTPA)?
The misrepresentation of selective sovereignty resulting in Operation: Enduring Freedom and the Afghanistan War as well as the misrepresentation regarding weapons of mass destruction resulting in 118 Stat 3638 PL 107-243 Authorization for Use of Military Force Against Iraq Resolution (Operation: Iraqi Freedom) which have resulted in the two longest and most expensive military operations in U.S. history ?
The spike in hate crimes against US Citizens who were not “white” as a form of vigilante justice by US Citizens, which includes, according to FBI crime statistics a 1824% increase year over year in anti-Muslim crime, a tripling xenophobic crimes against Sekhs, a doubling of crimes against non-Islamic Middle Easterners (including Christians and Jews), and a 20% increase in hate crimes overall?
The expansive xenophobic and unconstitutional surveillance by Law Enforcement against Muslims and non-Islamic Middle Easteners, for example by New York City Police Department’s Intelligence Division (NYPDID) including the use of so-called “Mosque Crawlers” and “Rakers;” the Terrorist Screening Center (TSC)’s Terrorist Screening Database (TSDB) and related Transportation Security Authority (TSA) screening and profiling controversies; the F.B.I. COINTELPRO controversies; and others documented in the ACLU’s Racial Profiling Report, the New York Advisory Committee to the U.S. Commission on Civil Rights, and other independent reports on the subject?
The anti-European xenophobia, especially targeted at the French (who refused to initially participate in US led military action in the Middle East), resulting in petty nationalism around the renaming of French Fries to Freedom Fries and boycotting of French imports like wine and cheese, as well as more concerning increases in Francophobic acts on people and businesses?
The partisanship displayed over 49 USC 40101 the Air Transportation Safety and System Stabilization Act (ATSSSA) and September 11th Victim Compensation Fund (VCF) and subsequent James Zadroga 9/11 Health and Compensation Act of 2010, particularly on behalf of Republican’s refusal to continuously re-fund the act(s) and GOP attempts to block permanent funding solutions? Or, maybe the heartbreaking revelation that the Trump Administration after signing the 2019 funding bill has siphoned more than 4M$ away from compensation to First Responders?
The ongoing partisanship displayed over Department of Homeland Security (DHS) and Federal Emergency Management Agency’s (FEMA) funding for restoration and improvement of infrastructure requested by the States of New York and New Jersey, (as well as that of the joint venture commonly known as the Port Authority of New York & New Jersey), resulting in Republicans in congress blocking funding bills, as well as
grants by the agencies consistently being under-rewarded or subsequently under-funded at the behest of Republic opposition in Congress, while at the same time providing mid-west states such as Iowa and South Dakota higher per-capita grants for programs that were not even deemed “necessary” in original security infrastructure analysis reports, all of which resulted in the delay of rebuilding and an increased local tax burden to New York and New Jersey residents directly impacted by the terrorist attacks?
The dog-whistle rhetoric used by conservatives in an attempt to define “Real Americans” as any non-East Coast Elites for the 364 other days of the year only to see them hypocritically drag up their flag-waiving patriotism this one day a year claiming solidarity with New York, New Jersey and D.C. before reverting back to their disdain of the region and their fellow citizens who live here; as well as the fact that there’s a subset of tourists who come to the hollowed ground of the towers clad in gaudy Stars and Strips garb and faux-military gear to gawk at the memorial as if it was a roadside attraction like the biggest ball of string rather than pay respect to the fallen of that day?
The cottage industry of conspiracy theorists who have turned the tragedy into a series of anti-government, anti-Semitic, and anti-Islamic misinformation campaigns that has included prominent support by right wing talking heads like Alex Jones of Info Wars and Thierry Meyssan, conservative PhD and former Military educator Alan Sabrosky, former Democrat-turned-Green Party representative Cynthia Ann McKinney, Republican representative Steven King, Trumpublican nominee Marjorie Taylor Greene, Reform-turned-Green Party former Governor Jesse Ventura, former Republican candidate John Howard Buchanan, conservative theologian David Ray Griffin, the members of the conservative-led Architects & Engineers for 9/11 Truth, Inc. (AE911Truth), and most recently as part of the right wing Q-Anon movement which have helped mainstream the notion of 911 Truthers to the point where one BBC survey found that one in seven Americans thinks that 9/11 was a staged act or that other surveys have found one in ten believe it was a false flag hoax?
This is all what I have not forgotten.
Yes, some of the best aspects of what the United States was meant to embody came to the surface. It was where the New York Tough and Jersey Strong gained national prominence. It gave us moments of pure, unvarnished humanity in the face of tragedy.
However, it also grew into one of the great American myths.
And, we should not forget that among the losses that day were some of what we should value the most as Americans.
We lost our national innocence and could no longer harbor the notion that we were an unassailable, untouchable force in the world. Thus, we gained a new national identity in the post-911 world in which our naïvety, or arrogance, was stripped from us. The “war,” as it were, was brought right to our doorsteps in a way that no previous attack on the sovereignty of the United States had since perhaps the British refusal to recognize it was finally relinquished with the the Treaty of Ghent in 1814.
We lost, further, many of our individual freedoms and liberties. We traded them for what was perceived as safety and security from this new threat that landed on our doorsteps. And, while we didn’t get any safer, it created an entirely new set of problems with domestic surveillance, militarized policing and economic stress.
We lost, further, the notion that all are Equal in the way the U.S. reacted both socially and legally to some of our fellow Citizens, undermining the religious clauses of the First Amendment in our treatment of Muslims and building a writing a new xenophobic chapter in our growing book of racism in how we treated Middle Eastern-Americans.
We lost our role as a post-War global leader by embarking on a series of ill-conceived military campaigns throughout the Middle East independent from and against the cautions of our own allies as well as the United Nations that resulted in massive destabilization of the region while causing greater extremism to flourish instead of stamping out terrorism as originally construed.
We lost our financial stability by putting ourselves in trillions of dollars of debt to finance the expansive and never-ending War on Terrorism. The growth of the military, and of domestic police forces attempts at local counter-terrorism, at the expense of necessary programs State-side, including desperately needed infrastructure improvements, social safety nets, education and more.
We lost whatever political unity was perceived in the brief time immediately following the attacks. It was replaced by a new level of political partisanship that came, in part, as a direct result of reactions to the Bush Administration’s behavior and influenced the political divide on both sides including the Progressive and Democratic-Socialist movements on the left and the Truther, Tea Party, Alt-Right and most recently Q-Anon movements on the right.
While we mourn the dead we should not overlook the impact that went far beyond the meaning of those individuals that day.
The world cried out with us at each of those who’s lives were cut short in the moment of those attacks. But, far too few of us remembered to continue to mourn for everyone else affected in the aftermath. And, far fewer still, continue to acknowledge that while it should be a solemn occasion we should not whitewash it’s history in the same was we’ve come to whitewash Chattel Slavery, or the Native American Holocaust, or the Industrial Revolution, or even the “success” WWII as a few examples often portrayed as part of the American Heritage with a sheen of perfection while underplaying the devastation inherent to them.
The best honor we can provide to those lost and all of those affected by their proximity to the terror of 9-11 is to treat the history with humility and respect instead of mythifying it into something it never was.
For me, personally, today is always a difficult day. It’s filled with a range of emotions I can hardly put into words and even if I could are difficult for many to contextualize. There’s a small group of people I know who witnessed it and went through it and can understand the emotions attached to having experienced it in that way. For many in that time in my life we’ve gone much our separate ways, embarking on new careers, evolving our families, finding new homes and continuing our lives. But, if anyone reaches out to anyone else the connection is still there, a permanent bond, or perhaps a scar we all share.
Experiencing it molded my world view in a great many ways and 19 years later I still find myself both taxed from and challenged by the memories of it and the days, weeks and months that followed.
I hoped then I would never experience anything like that again and to be honest I’m fearful now that while the circumstances are different the same kind of dread will keep overcoming me with the Covid pandemic. But, that’s for another post…
For now, the platitudes of not forgetting ring all too hollow considering how little some of those pandering to their “followers” with the hashtag actually remember of it. Perhaps, we all should remember not to forget the tragedy in it’s entirety and use it to grow as individuals and as a society — to take the lessons to heart and apply them to make ourselves and people and the United States as our home a better place. The best way to pay homage isn’t to remember not to forget for a couple of hours once a year, but to actually become the nation of people we have crafted our fable around – a nation unified in helping one another. Let’s turn the folklore of 911 into a reality instead of allowing it to become another Honest Abe and the Cherry Tree.
— What I’m listening to —
It was honestly mostly quiet today. Took a while before the tunes went on and this is what ended up being in the mix
Agnostic Front – Riot Riot Upstart & the American Dream Died
Biohazard – Urban Discipline & State of the World Address
Sick of it All – Built to Last, Call to Arms & Life on the Ropes
Life of Agony – River Runs Red
H2O – FTTW & Thicker than Water
Leeway – Adult Crash & Open Mouth Kiss
and pre-Jon Bush Anthrax