I am wicked fidgety today which unsurprisingly leaves me a bit unfocused. It’s not even excessive physical energy. my brain is in a state of, shall we call it, restless over-drive.
All I keep telling myself is, “Reign in in kid, reign it in.”
There’s nothing worse sometimes than not being able to put your finger on what’s going on in your brain. The thing is, today, it’s not about any one thing. Not even a generic “everything” is an accurate descriptor to dizzying array of thoughts on display in my head.
Somewhere at the intersection of personal needs, wants, and aspirations with that of my interests and responsibilities as they pertain to work, family, friends and my social life, etc. with that of perceptions about my civic, social, religious, ethnic, etc. identity with that of, of course, money and other limited resources you’ll find where my brain’s center is right now.
You know in cartoons when the antagonists head is about to explode? Right before that is where I lie.
Undoing this chaos residing in my cranium isn’t as simple as reframing any of the quotes like: “Nothing is particularly hard if you divide it into small jobs” Henry Ford or “the secret to getting ahead is getting started. the secret of getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks and then starting with the first one” Mark Twain.
No. All of the swirling sensations in my head are all those little things already divided up to begin with. And, I already have a prioritization for accomplishing them. Rather, this cacophony is more than likely the result OF being so self-conscious about identifying and prioritizing them all. The net result of introspection at that level is actually getting lost BY all the culmination of all of the stuff.
Rather than drilling down further, what I really need is a step back. Several actually. Time to put all those puzzle pieces back together into the larger picture. Time to enjoy all of them as they coexist rather than in their separate, compartmentalized selves.
Thankfully, there’s some ‘vacation’ time coming up to facilitate this endeavor. Until then, woah nelly, that’s some hellacious headache I’m trying to stave off.