Planning for the unplannable

There is no way to adequately map out all possible scenarios, or to mitigate all the identified problems, or create all the possible contingencies. However, there is something to be said for trying to accommodate for the majority of, for lack of a better word, routine events that affect most of our lives. It’s all about the “just in case…”

It is why we leave our travel information with family and check in upon our arrival at our destination. It is why we have wills and living will directives, for example.

In a way, it’s all about expectation setting. Making sure those around us who are affected by our lives are at least somewhat prepared for what might happen next and what is expected of them. We were very clear when we got married, for example, what we expected out of our officiant, the venue staff, our wedding party and related family, the photographer, the DJ and even our guests. There were lists upon lists upon lists detailing what we wanted, what we wanted to happen if something went wrong, etc.


As someone who is a planner myself and married to someone who herself desires an element of control in the chaos it makes sense then that we would map out what our expectations for the birth of our first child are.

During Labor:
We would like to have the most natural birth possible. We understand that this may be difficult with an induction. Please allow us….
If not on pitocin, Intermittent monitoring (EFM)
If not on pitocin, Access to the shower
Freedom to walk, move, and utilize upright positions of my choice during labor
Keep the lights dimmed, voices soft, monitors silent, and door closed
Opportunity to self hydrate and decline being hooked up to an IV for hydration unless absolutely necessary
To be fully apprised and consulted before introducing any medical procedure, and access to a second opinion at request
To wear my own clothes during labor
I would prefer no pain medication but would like to be made aware of the last possible time to have an epidural or local anesthetic.

During the Pushing Phase of Labor:
Opportunity to try different positions
Light and easy coaching, no yelling or forced instructions
To avoid routine episiotomy
Delay cord clamping
Avoidance of forceps or vacuum extraction
If and only if c-section becomes necessary:
Make sure all other options are exhausted
I would like to stay conscious with my hands free to touch the baby
My husband should be in the room and either he or I should hold the baby as soon as possible

Following the Birth of Our Baby:
Immediate skin to skin contact
All immediate newborn procedures performed while I hold my baby and all other exams and procedures performed in our presence only after we’ve bonded
Delay bathing with bath given by me or my husband
I plan to breastfeed and do not want my baby to have a bottle or pacifier unless a medical issue makes it necessary
I want my baby to room-in with me


About thedoormouse

I am I. That’s all that i am. my little mousehole in cyberspace of fiction, recipes, sacrasm, op-ed on music, sports, and other notations both grand and tiny:
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