Today, I felt our little padawan kick for the first time.
I was fucking weird. Like Ridley Scott’s Alien chestbuster scene kind of weird (albeit, I actually half expected the Spaceball parody at the same time).
Seriously though, for as much as the different ultrasounds were able to “show” us the whole conceptualization took on a whole new meaning physically experiencing it.
To be honest, I’m probably late to the party in the experience. My wife’s been feeling the kicks for quite some time. We would spend hours at night with my hand on her belly and I would perceive nothing. We tried putting my face against it so I could maybe experience it a different way and still nothing. I never doubted her and I wasn’t getting some early complex that the kid might not like me, but rather I was wondering if maybe there wasn’t something wrong with me.
Then, it happened. And, I knew it wasn’t about the kid, or my wife or even me, it was just the right situation. I had my hand lined up where the kid moved at a part of my wife’s body that I was able to perceive the sensation. There was no big conspiracy or bigger concept at play. Things just lined up while watching the television.
In the back of my head, I had every intention of identifying every element of the moment. You know what I remember writing this? Enough to give the kid a complex as an angry teenager years from now reading this.
I remember my wife’s stomach being soft. I remember that because not long before we’d begun a regiment of putting on a coconut and shea butter blend on her stomach and although she’d always had soft skin it was already a different kind of soft from what I’d thought of it before. I remember it because although it was “soft” to the “touch” it was just beginning to feel “firm” in that stiff under-muscle feeling underneath where you could tell things were different. I remember it in such a way that I can’t wait for tomorrow and be surprised again at how much it’s changed yet again in a day and will feel different again.
For as weird as that first kick (or whatever the movement was, I’m half convinced it’s a mosh pit in there) was for me, I can only imagine how weird all the previous ones I wasn’t able to feel must have been like for my wife.
Seriously, our little padawan is moving around in there like a little alien?
I’m sure it’s all healthy at this point. It’s all normal. But, never having actually experienced anything like this up close and personal ever it’s like something out of sci fi. Hopefully, when the padawan learns of this later they won’t be freaked out. But, damned, you thrash it up in utero way better than your parents could in the pit in their prime. That’s either exciting or intimidating. If you’re doing the lawnmower, I can definitely provide grass and wild greenery for you when you get out on our small, partly forested plot. If you’re picking up change, get used to it, as the cost of supplemental education is stupid expensive and every penny counts. If you were doing some other dance, please show us, we’re severely lacking in the post-skank era…