The continuing journey of life brings us yet another new challenge. Being single became communicating became dating became moving in became marriage became home owners and now we are well on our way to becoming parents. Ok, maybe that’s the over simplified version of it all, but it’s the short and easy version.
The first year of marriage was an experience. We survived the second year in much the same manner we did through the first. We laughed and cried. We celebrated and fought. We challenged one another to be better individuals and partners and sometimes succeeded and sometimes failed. We were fortunate enough to have a sibling procreate, have another sibling move back closer to family and yet another sibling get married. We watched a parent overcome cancer for a second time while another overcame their own health issues and surgeries.
It’s been a busy autumn so far and it’s not slowing down.
We talked about a fancy dinner at a restaurant down the street but we couldn’t secure reservations. I wanted to get flowers and other remembrances of our wedding but being I walk most places since we only have one car the weather was uncooperative and that didn’t happen. I would have bought a thoughtful gift but money as of late has been very tight, my brain was pretty fried with everything going on and I’m not sure there was anything perfect enough to actually buy that represents how awesome two years actually has been.
And, yet, we still try as we can to do what we can do as a couple. It’s life as pre-parents because in year two that’s what we’ve become. Sometimes, we can’t. Sometimes, we don’t want to. Sometimes, we go grocery shopping together to pick out a Sunday dinner like cast iron skillet tofu steaks drenched in mushroom gravy with mashed parsnip and red skin on smashed potatoes with slivered almonds and haricot vert in garlic butter.
It’s been interesting being married now going into the third year.
Expectations change. We want more of one another. And, of ourselves. We sometimes don’t communicate what those expectations are well. We sometimes don’t agree with what’s expected and still have to figure out how to find the compromise that fulfills our mutually exclusive needs. We sometimes fail at meeting the expectations that were set and have to overcome the consequences. We continue to cultivate what we hope are good habits, especially since we have to work together to pass at least some of them along to the next generation … however one actually accomplishes such a task successfully.
It’s actually a little weird. As we begin our next journey toward parenthood there’s intriguing parallels to our previous challenges as an engaged couple and as homeowners.
We try to do our due diligence and learn about what the endevour entails. We’ll never know enough in advance.
We try to save money so we’re prepared. We’ll never save enough.
We try to communicate to one another our concerns and fears while focusing building up one another’s self confidence in our strengths and abilities. We’ll never express enough.
We want to believe we know things will work themselves out. That’s probably the only part we’re pretty sure of at this point.
We survived as a couple some pretty interesting challenges both created by our individual flaws and as consequences of the world around us
Finding out we were going to be parents was pretty awesome.
Scary. Are we ready? Can we really do this?
Weird. There will be a little version of the crazy that is both of us running around?
We are going to be great parents. We can do this together and provide the foundation for a little person to become a responsible member of the human race while subsequently dealing with the after-effects of the human condition with the tools to do it in a healthy way.
We’re still going to fuck things up along the way.
Hell, we still are fucking things up in our own lives now. If we weren’t my guess would be we were being intentionally ignorant to the situation at hand, blind to our own short comings and insincere to ourselves and one another. That doesn’t sound like who we strive to be.
Some days, I wonder how I am even lucky enough to be in this relationship. I make more than my share of mistakes. Even when I strive to be a good husband I feel like I come up short and could do more. This relationship deserves perfection. So, I’ll keep admitting my faults and flaws as best I can and work toward overcoming them the same as I always have… no longer just for myself… no longer for my spouse… but now, for our little procreation too as an oncoming stakeholder.