tech tuesday: danger danger

hot dog man wikipediaHe’s the greatest
He’s fantastic
Wherever there’s danger he’ll be there
He’s the ace
He’s amazing
He’s the strongest he’s the quickest he’s the best
-Danger Mouse Theme

Carlos Danger is at it again. Dox Equies must be so disappointed in their spokesman.

Then again, it’s probably easier to believe that then there could actually be a Mayor Weiner…

This is what we’ve become. A society obsessed with a pixelated penis. A peter tweeter. Another press release regarding the release of, well, you got the message…

Technology made this possible. Not that I blame technology for it, but it certainly is the all-great enabler. Some people just can’t help themselves when they (mis) use it.

If it weren’t for technology there would be fewer images of Mr. Weiner’s wiener. Or, if he used Snap Chat at least there’d be significantly less than there are now out and about. The digital camera made processing images instantaneous and much less expensive than back in the good old days of photocopied, facimilie shared butts and breasts or film shot down-shorts. Now the selfie takes on a whole new meaning with a camera phone and on-demand distribution through email, SMS, instant messenger. Then again, who needs a still shot when you have Facetime, Skype,, gChat Video and more to expose yourself in?

Of course, once it’s out there, it’s really out there. And the media will never let you forget that, lest you didn’t ever have an interest in a politician’s privates, the 24-hour news cycle pumps it up, embellishes it and waves it in your face non-stop.

The entire City of New York mayoral race is being dogged by a dick, and that’s the real problem. It takes balls to do what he’s doing.

And New York City is in danger for it.

No, we probably won’t catch a venereal disease. Though if he stays in too long we might end up with other issues…

While we should be caring about how the next mayor will handle the controversial “stop and frisk” policy, deal with gentrification issues related to infrastructure, emergency services disbursement and education equality, an increasingly diverse and shifting inter-borough population and the new demands of the economy we’re not really talking much about these.

Granted, it’s nice that every candidate’s complete isn’t a negatively slanted critique of current Mayor Bloomburg’s twelve year stint but the lack of focus on the issues being left to them is not exactly inspiring for the future of a city that’s show incredible resilience during his tenure.

This is about the distraction by the person Anthony Weiner, not the unmentionable part of his anatomy. What’s insidious about the entire sordid affair isn’t how he’s shamed himself in his actions and reactions, or disrespected his wife, or continues to underestimate the good people of NYC with is assumption we even would consider his nefarious sleaze in the first place.

What will become of the many of the legacy projects in future years? The MTA’s Capital Projects expansion, the Public Schools system restructuring, the Sanitation Department’s recycling and composting programs, the Parks Department’s renaissance, 311 Information services, the bike and pedestrian infrastructure projects, and yes even those controversial heath and safety regulations among the many still open and experimental initiatives to consider. While I don’t think there’s a danger anyone will reverse the smoking ban or de-fund the MTA’s current builds or even institute concealed carry gun laws all of which would set the City back decades, I would like to know what they intend to do to re-fund many of the downsized emergency services to increase their reach particularly in disaster response, how they want to handle the NYPD’s crime mitigation and prevention quandaries, where they see the Public School system headed in terms of Charter growth, teacher evaluations, for-profit standardized testing alternatives, technology adoption, etc. and what they intend to do outside of Manhattan to address the outer borough’s needs, particularly the recent population and business expansions in western Brooklyn Queens.

Is getting a sense of their assumed affects on our day-to-day lives too much to ask of potential candidates rather than them being over-shadowed by a single also-ran’s past, self-inflicted misfortunes?

Apparently so because the only place to find this kind of information is by really digging into a search engine’s algorithm and researching it for yourself. Even the pride of local papers, the New York Times, has spilled only a nominal amount of ink on the candidate’s actual platforms to day. It is far easier to find the dimensions of said disgraced ex-congressman’s junk than the erection of even his own platform planks, forget about that of his opponent’s intents. And, as much as I don’t mind doing my own research, I didn’t intend on needing the “Adult Content” filter ON when looking for it.

It is a sad state of affairs not just for New York City but the United States as a whole when all eyes are on a crotch rather than on the prize of running one of the worlds largest and most venerable cities. Sure, NYC is easy for some hick from ne’redowell bumblefuck to poke fun at but when our least favorite representative decides to poke his head into the mayoral race it’s just more unnecessary fuel for the fire. And you thought you couldn’t burn a dirty water dog on the corner of 8 and 42…

We’re in danger of being overrun by Carlos Danger overload. If it weren’t for technology’s ability to turn this fiasco into a never ending dick joke through the many avenues of available social commentary online the demand for Weiner would probably have deflated. Instead of becoming flaccid, it’s inflamed like a hemorrhoid in the heat of August and we’re forced to focus on it’s itch rather than the usual late summer run up to the election.

Although the best thing that could ever happen for New York and Anthony Weiner would be for him to pull out we all know he feel’s it’s going to be a long, hard experience to endure, and that’s not even a reference to what we’re put through having to look at his picture!

Technology helped make this mess with Carlos Danger, the schlong wielding stupid hero, it’s time technology helped us unmake it… although right now I’m not entirely sure how, so I’ll end with this

Everything has got a moral if you can only find it –
Charles Lutwidge Dodgson, aka Lewis Carroll


About thedoormouse

I am I. That’s all that i am. my little mousehole in cyberspace of fiction, recipes, sacrasm, op-ed on music, sports, and other notations both grand and tiny:
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One Response to tech tuesday: danger danger

  1. Pingback: fight for your life | doormouse's declarations & personal musings

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