If the previous spam poetry entries, like “offered in any position” weren’t humorous enough with the hidden meanings this one comes from exactly the kind of email oration you’d expect it to and full of the kind of holiday cheer I’m sure we’d all like to be on the receiving end of. So enjoy this week’s big can of holiday spam:
it’s time to buy gifts its time to spread joy. it’s time to buy flashy clothes and thrilling toys. invigorate the senses and inspire the mind. and find a good place to place your behind. unwrapping the presents and undoing the bows. digging in deep and chanting ho ho. so find that special place with that special someone this season and never forget to give them a good reason so sing all your praises and all of your joy because there’s nothing better than a happy girl or boy.