Oh, Spam. How do I love thee? Let me count the ways… seven thousand six hundred ninety eight in my junk box,… yeah, the love letter, or so the lite version seems, but you’ll notice it’s packed full of spammy goodiness, that’s the Spam-ifying read you’re enjoying today so be sure to take in all the double entendre included in it:
Inside the heart of each and every one of us there is a longing to be understood by someone who really cares. When a person is understood, she can put up with almost anything in the world and truly take it all in.
My whole desire is to live in love, absorbing passionate devotion to one person, including them in me fully. Beware, my love, one fine day the doors will be broken down, everything will be open and there we will meet to life happily ever after, like in a fairytale whose ending always comes. But before that day we have to know each other, so write me a four page letter instantly made up from those delightful words which fill my heart and body with emotion and joy sending me quivering and with tears of joy. I hope to hold you in every way, when I will lavish upon a million kisses, burning as the equatorial sun.