don’t say it, please

All of my attempts at meeting people in the grocery store line or on a hiking trail or while traipsing through a used record shop or second hand book store thus far have resulted in a whole lot of nothing… so, in the failed attempt at meeting people I’ve been turning to the internet to help parse out the insanity of the world around me and act as a filter

the passion question “what’s your greatest passion”: most people need to really look up the definition of the word passion… worst answer ever is “family” … you are not most passionate about your family. Trust me, if you were, you wouldn’t be online trying to solicit the guy of your dreams. It just shows saying “family” for one of three things results in the following interpretation: 1) you don’t know the definition of passion and therefor are about as intelligent as a cardboard box and not someone we want to be involved with 2) you are entirely too family oriented and not matter how much we want to have a kid of our own are scared shitless of that approach to the answer or 3) you have a family and you are lying about all the other answers about having kids … if you don’t explain the answer and you give such a sickly generic answer that what is there left?

Right answer to attract a guy: “my passion is…” cooking, sewing, writing, reading classic fiction, playing piano, jogging, or hell even shopping if that is really it – pick something that defines you that is specific or a set of qualities and related ideas that all draw from the same thing and thrive on those ideas. And then, explain how those things really impact you, maybe it is your shopping that relates to your neice or maybe your love of music and playing at the piano attracts your nephew or maybe your love of cooking relates you to your sibliing or your love of movies is what helps tie you to your core group of friends…

Biggest Secret / The thing only my best friends know: Yeah because the “only my best friends know this” is soooooooooo cute to read! Um, no. you know that that says? You have no sense of humor you have no originality and you have no good conversational topics to pose in this section to make me curious about you compared to the 100 other women who decided to use the same generically private answer.

Right answer to attract a guy: “I occasionally…” do really spontaneous things that aren’t inside my comfort zone for ways to spend a Saturday afternoon like going for a hike and wilderness bbq… “I secretly…” really do love spending a day watching baseball with a guy if it’s at the stadium and we get to hold hands and make fun of the other fans on the subway… “I adore”…. extreme music but have not one to share it with because none of my girlfriends understand why I would headbang to metallica and the dillinger escape plan… “I…” masturbate… “um well, maybe not that one, depending on what you’re looking to attract…


About thedoormouse

I am I. That’s all that i am. my little mousehole in cyberspace of fiction, recipes, sacrasm, op-ed on music, sports, and other notations both grand and tiny:
This entry was posted in humor, Opinion, personal musings, relationships. Bookmark the permalink.

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